Monday, September 21, 2015

A 6-year-old's advice to her parents about how to handle their divorce is spot-on.


6-year-old Tiana wants her parents to be friends.

Tiana's mom, Cherish, posted a video of her daughter giving some advice after Cherish and Tiana's dad, who are divorced, had a fight.

The video has taken off across the Internet because, besides the fact that Tiana's absolutely adorable, she's full of wisdom about how we should treat each other. It's simple stuff, but many of us adults could stand to hear it.

Tiana wants her parent to be friends. She's trying to be nice — and she expects her parents to be nice too.

I think most of us who came from two-parent households — whether our parents stayed together or ended up divorcing — can recall our parents arguing at some point.

For kids, those fights can come with a really unsettling feeling:



Nobody gets along all the time. But disagreeing sometimes is one thing — treating each other poorly is another.

Tiana says it so simply: Settle those "mean heights" down to "short heights."

She also talks about wanting everyone to smile, which is a totally normal desire for kids.

When kids are young, if we seem happy, they usually feel secure. But it's kind of a fact of life that we can't be happy alllll the time. And it's not authentic — nor does it give our kids coping skills in life — if we hide every last one of our unhappy feelings.

And while we parents are pretty good at faking it, there are times when it's just not possible — or honest. And that's OK. But it's important for us to talk to kids about feelings and to reassure them that having sad or angry feelings is a part of life. It doesn't mean things will always be like this, and they need to know that.

It's like we learned in the Disney movie "Inside Out": All kinds of feelings are normal and valid. And if we learn how to process and express them in healthy ways versus stuffing them down or letting them out in damaging ways, we'll be better for it. So will our kids.

Tiana really brings it home with her final message: Let's make things as good as possible.

Divorce and conflict are not awesome, but we can make them, as she says, "as good as possible."

Watch Tiana give her mom — and the rest of us — some spot-on advice about how to live life!


Tiana's mom, Cherish Sherry, uploaded Tiana's wisdom to Facebook and YouTube.



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