One man's take on the silent killer of relationships: unmet expectations.

What's the secret to a winning relationship? This guy thinks he knows.

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Right after my wife and I got married, we attended a seminar about aiding the rehabilitation of human trafficking victims.

Image from iStock.

During one of the presenter’s talks, he asked the audience what the biggest cause of divorce was.

Because I had just been through premarital counseling, I pretty much felt like an expert at marriage. I shot my hand up quickly to answer the question and blurted out, “Sex, money, and communication!” Then I looked at my wife next to me and grinned. Too easy.

“Wrong,” the presenter barked back. “Those are symptoms of the real problem.”

Ouch. Not only was I given a sharp lesson in humility, but what followed changed my life. I was about to be told the best piece of marriage advice that this young, prideful, newly married manboy could’ve ever asked for.

“The reason marriages end in divorce is because of one thing," he said, "unmet expectations.”

*mind blown*

Image via iStock.

My newly-married manboy brain couldn’t handle the revelation. I don’t remember much of what was said after that. I was too busy thinking of all the unmet expectations I was experiencing after being married for just a month.

But having unmet expectations isn’t just a marriage problem. It’s a life problem.

Since that seminar six years ago, I have seen the pain and frustration that plays out from having unmet expectations — not just in marriage, but in all relationships. It’s a deadly venom that flows to the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re single, married, working, unemployed, old, young, or [insert demographic here]. Having unmet expectations is lethal to everyone. No one is immune.

So ... what’s the solution?

I’m a math guy. I love equations. I love crunching numbers, and I thoroughly enjoyed algebra and calculus in high school (although I probably couldn’t do a calculus problem to save my life now).

So after lots of searching, I came across an equation for this that helped me understand the whole issue:

EXPECTATION – OBSERVATION = FRUSTRATION

Here’s what that means: Below are two hypothetical versions of one situation played out.

Situation #1: Expectation

Image from iStock.

When I come home from a long day at work, I EXPECT that my partner will have dinner prepared and ready for us, so we can sit down and eat as a family. She’ll be wearing an apron with no food stains on it (because she’s perfect like that) and her hair will be perfectly done up.

Meanwhile, my 16-month-old daughter will sit in her high chair and eat with utensils ... never missing her mouth, which makes cleanup a breeze. After we all finish eating at exactly the same time, we’ll head out into the Colorado sun and go for a nice family stroll, while the butler (you read that right ... butler) cleans up the kitchen and prepares our home for evening activities.

Situation #2: Reality

Really, I come home from work 30 minutes late, and dinner hasn’t even been thought of ... much less started. Because of this, my toddler is screaming her head off, signing, “More! Please! Eat!”

Image from iStock.

When I search for my wife, I find her working on a design project, trying to meet a deadline that’s technically already past due. When I ask what’s for dinner, she glares at me the way only an overworked, overtired, work-from-home parent can glare.

After picking up my toddler, I make my way into the kitchen to find an abundance of no groceries. So, being the manly chef that I am, I set my eyes on cheese and bread. “Grilled cheese!” I exclaim. I put my daughter in her high chair as an influx of rage bursts from within her. I quickly grab the applesauce pouch to appease her. It works ... for now. I get to work on my grilled cheese sandwiches. Everyone eats. The kitchen is left a mess. Toys are scattered throughout the living room just waiting to break someone’s ankle. My wife and I collapse on the couch, avoiding eye contact and avoiding volunteering to clean the kitchen. I could keep going but you get the picture.

Frustration is the difference between these two scenarios.

It's quite an elaborate illustration, I know. But I’m trying to paint the picture of what our expectations can be like versus what life is actually like. Antonio Banderas says it best: “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.”

The fact of the matter is this: In life, we often have expectations that go unmet, and we’re often frustrated because of it. But we don’t HAVE to be.

What can you do? Let your observation take precedence over your expectation.

In other words, go with the flow.

Image from iStock.

Some would say to not have any expectations at all. But I wouldn’t go that far. I think healthy, realistic expectations that are communicated are good to have. They’re something to reach for.

But when you come into a situation and your expectations aren’t met, let your observation take the lead. Discard your expectation in the moment and deal with the reality at hand.

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This story was originally published on the author's blog and is republished here with permission.

9 things this woman wants you to know about her hidden anxiety.

On the outside, she looks like she does every day. On the inside, she's shaking.

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When I tell most people that I have an anxiety disorder, they nod their heads and tell me it’ll be OK.

But when I tell them, "I’m sorry, I’m having a bad anxiety day, can we reschedule?" they smile and tell me there’s nothing to worry about. They tell me that if I just get out of bed, I’ll see that everything is fine.

And when I don’t want to go bar hopping because I know that alcohol only increases my anxious tendencies, I hear, "You’re fine. It’ll be fun. Let off some steam!"

Meanwhile, my heart is pounding so fast that I’m afraid it may be visibly beating out of my chest. But it isn’t. My head isn’t actually spinning in circles. My eyes are not crossed like my blurred vision indicates. My knees aren’t wobbling along with the trembling muscles fighting the urge to collapse. My face isn’t pale, and my eyes aren’t bloodshot.

On the outside, I look like I do every day. My hair is clean. My clothes match. I am awake, alive, and breathing fine. So nothing is wrong, right?

Wrong.

Image via iStock.

That’s the thing about anxiety disorders: We look fine.

Our legs aren’t broken. Our tongues haven’t been cut out. We aren’t cut or bruised. Anxiety is not a physical disability, but that doesn’t make it any less debilitating.

Anxiety is complex, and when people tell me that everything is OK, it isn’t just unhelpful. In fact, it can even hurt me more because it seems like nobody takes my anxiety seriously.

So here are some things I would like you to know about struggling with anxiety:

1. It isn't constant.

There are days when I can make it through without having to stop and breathe or pop a Xanax. I can smile and laugh. I can be productive and go to work, go out to dinner, go see a movie with my friends. And trust me, I know how difficult it is to understand how I can be fine one day and the next not be able to get out of bed. That’s just how it is.

2. It comes in waves.

Image via iStock.

Anxiety is a strange beast. It will let me have some fun for a couple of days until I think, "Hmm, maybe it’s finally left me alone." Then I’ll wake up the next morning unable to even think straight because for whatever reason, the beast has once again emerged. There is nothing I can do to stop it from coming because I have woken up to it sitting on my chest smiling as if I’m welcoming it home.

3. It can be completely paralyzing.

I don’t know if this one applies to everyone, but I know this paralyzing fear is a very big piece of my anxiety disorder. When anxiety hits, I am frozen. I can get up and go through the motions of my day, but my brain is elsewhere, held captive by whatever "demon" is inhabiting me this time. I cannot think about anything except my inability to think or breathe or feel. My brain feels like it is literally paralyzed, as if it is stuck in some kind of limbo with no doors or windows or exits of any kind.

The worst part? I’m completely alone in there.

4. It can ruin relationships.

Not just romantic relationships, but a relationship of any kind. Friendships and relationships alike can be destroyed by this condition. I have experienced both, and it is the most devastating kind of loss. Why? Because it is not our fault.

Image via iStock.

Anxiety is a disorder that without the knowledge of how to care for it properly can explode over time. Eventually, it can become too much for someone else to carry around with them. If someone becomes close enough to you to experience firsthand the effects of your own anxiety, there’s a chance that it can become too much for them. They might sever the ties for their own mental health. And it hurts like hell.

5. It can make trust nearly impossible.

And I know — it sounds awful to blame trust issues on anxiety, but in all honestly, it’s not placing blame, it’s placing responsibility. Anxiety almost never fails to make you think the worst of every situation.

If someone doesn’t answer my text, well then that’s it, they no longer like me. If someone doesn’t text me first, they don’t think about me. Someone is busy? Forget it. They just have better things to do with their time than spend it with me. I sound ridiculous, right? Welcome to the anxiety life. We do not have cookies, sorry, but can I interest you in crippling loneliness at a table for one? No? Didn’t think so.

5. I do not want this.

Do you really think that if I had a choice I would choose to let down the people who love me because I can’t handle a simple outing? Do you think that I want to be so afraid to get out of bed that instead I call off work and cry to "Grey’s Anatomy" for 13 hours in a row? Probably not. Would you choose that?

Image via iStock.

So when you tell us that we’re being dramatic and just looking for attention, take a second and think about what you’re saying. Nobody, I repeat nobody, wants this.

6. I wish every day that I wasn’t like this.

There’s always a little voice in the back of my head telling me just how great my life could be if I wasn’t this way. If I could just not have anxiety, everything would be OK. I could actually be happy and trust that the happiness was not a joke or a trick — that the other shoe was not, in fact, ever going to drop. There is no other shoe. But that’s not how I am.

To me, no matter how many times I tell myself that everything is OK and I’m being ridiculous, nothing is ever just "all right." In fact, even the smallest things are a disaster.

7. There are treatments, and I am willing to try them all.

Many people who are diagnosed with anxiety are prescribed medication to control it. Most of the time, those medications work to take the edge off and can make me a bit more functional in everyday life. However, simply using medications usually isn’t enough.

I have tried going to the gym. The endorphins usually help immensely. A lot of people take up yoga and breathing exercises. For me, writing, singing, and coloring in my adult coloring books are very comforting.

Image via iStock.

I have found talk therapy to be the greatest tool and worth every penny. Having a therapist who is constantly on your side and there to just let you talk without ever once judging you or blaming you for the condition you’re in is the such a freeing experience. I highly suggest it to anyone struggling with anxiety.

8. I will overcome it.

But it will take time. Fighting anxiety can be a never-ending battle with frequent slip ups and breakdowns along the way. I am still in the process personally, and it is not easy. At all.

Learning how to overcome anxiety is the most difficult task anyone has ever asked me to complete. But these thoughts, the ones that are not truly mine, feel like poison to my soul. But on those days that I can mark a check in the win category, I feel like I can take on the world.

9. Anxiety is heavy, scary stuff.

It is not a visible injury, but that doesn’t make it any less legitimate. We need people in our lives who are willing to help us and support us and understand that we need a lot of that help and support. I won’t think any less of you if you don’t think you can handle the commitment of being a part of my life, but I do ask that you do not get my hopes up and let me down.

Image via iStock.

So when I say, "I have anxiety," here’s what I really mean: Treat me kindly.

Be patient with me. Support me. Know that in everything I do, I am thinking about how it affects you. I am fighting for control over my life every day. I am a handful, and I know it. I am not always easy to have in your life, but if you let me, I will always be there for you. I will never forget the way you held on when most people would let go.

When I say, "I have anxiety," I am both warning you about what you are in for and thanking you for choosing me anyway.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of anxiety, please contact your doctor.

If you or someone you know is in need help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you are outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international resources.

This story was originally published on Huffington Post and is used here with permission.

The reality of parenting, brought to life in these 13 funny illustrations.

Ah, the wonders and joy of parenting ... with a 'keepin' it real' comedic twist.

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What do nonsensical arguments, early morning wake-up calls, and an uncanny ability to slow down time have in common? Kids!

Adrienne Hedger is a writer and illustrator who's been drawing cartoons her whole life. She's also a mom with a clever sense of humor who publishes hilarious, lighthearted illustrations as Hedger Humor daily.

From incessant whining from her kids about things she can’t possibly control to the shameless joy she gets running errands without them — nothing is off limits in Hedger's witty comic series.

She keeps it real. A lot of parents can surely relate to her quirky take on being a parent. She says a lot of the inspiration for her work comes straight from life. Hedger has a husband; two daughters, ages 10 and 13; and a dog.

"This crew just keeps delivering new material. I'll see them do something and I'll yell, 'Hold on! That's a cartoon!' then I'll dash off to write it down," she says.

Here are 13 comics that show the good, the bad, and the funny parenting has to offer:

1. Truth time! How many of you also revel in this?

All illustrations by Adrienne Hedger, featured with permission.

2. Flying solo vs. taking the kids.

3. So what if it's years down the road — at least you've set a date!

4. File this under "Things Parents Cannot Control."

5. Go ahead and file this one right after that.

6. When you need to verify that it's your kid they're talking about...

7. NEVER underestimate the power of a good, stern "dad voice."

8. Nice try, kid.  

9. Why can't they turn it "on" when you want them to?

10. This just means you think of the dog as a family member, right?

11. Sometimes kids see things parents can't with the naked eye.

12. A car-limousine combo could be a parent's best friend.

13. When it dawns on you that you're the adult.

"I want my cartoons to create a sense of we're all in this together, and we may as well laugh about it," Hedger says.

Her favorite thing is when she creates an illustration and wonders if anyone else can relate. Once she posts it and the comments start rolling in, she realizes her observations are, indeed, universal.

Sure, having kids can be messy, stressful, and sometimes daunting. But it doesn't make being a parent any less worth it, does it?

Quite the contrary. All these realistic parenting scenarios are what make family life exciting, too. That's why these "funny cause they're true" comics celebrate some of the challenging, albeit funny, experiences that come with being a parent.

Hedger wants moms and dads who read her comics to feel more connected and perhaps relieved that they're not alone in the parenting game.

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What's life like in Aleppo? This 7-year-old girl wants to show you.

Using Twitter, Bana al-Abed and her mother show us what life is like in Aleppo.

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Most 7-year-olds don't have to grow up in a war zone; Bana al-Abed does.

Back in September, Bana and her mother, Fatemah, opened a Twitter account and, like many Twitter users, began sharing details from their daily lives. Unlike most Twitter users, however, Bana and Fatemah live in Aleppo, Syria.

I need peace.

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) September 24, 2016

Like other kids her age, Bana likes to spend time reading, writing, and drawing. Unlike others, escaping into reading is a distraction from the war, and her drawings are meant to get the attention of world leaders like Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and U.S. President Barack Obama.

Good afternoon from #Aleppo I'm reading to forget the war. http://pic.twitter.com/Uwsdn0lNGm

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) September 26, 2016

Please stop killing us we need peace. I need peace to become a teacher #Aleppo http://pic.twitter.com/mYfF0Zmngv

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) September 27, 2016

For more than five years, civil war has ravaged Syria. Perhaps no city understands this quite as well as Aleppo.

As is often the case, the war in Syria is complicated beyond a simple "good guys vs. bad guys" narrative. Syrian forces, led by Assad's regime, along with Russia, have taken on rebel groups within the country — including ISIS. While Russia's involvement is for the stated purpose of fighting ISIS, the country's airstrikes have taken out hospitals, schools, and resulted in the deaths of many civilians.

250,000 Syrian citizens have been killed, and more than 11 million Syrians have been displaced because of the war. Many of those who've fled their homes have sought refugee status; others, like Bana and Fatemah, have stayed behind. This is their home, and it's being destroyed.

Syrian Civil Defence members search for victims in a destroyed building after reported air strikes in Aleppo in October 2016. Photo by Karam Al-Masri/AFP/Getty Images.

Bana's tweets are a powerful reminder that as bombs fall, innocent lives are lost every day. She is a glimmer of humanity in a place that is often portrayed as faceless and lifeless.

Life seems pretty grim for the 7-year-old, who tweeted, "I am very afraid I will die tonight," on Oct. 2.

Death is inescapable and all around her. Bana has posted photos of dead children and dismembered limbs. (Warning: Those images are very graphic.) It's sad that anyone, let alone a child, should have to witness these kinds of horrors on a daily basis.

I am very afraid I will die tonight. This bombs will kill me now. - Bana #Aleppo http://pic.twitter.com/KqVHwqRClK

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) October 2, 2016

Even the little joys in her life, such as the garden where she used to play, have been taken from her by the cruelty of war.

This is our bombed garden. I use to play on it, now nowhere to play. - Bana #Aleppo http://pic.twitter.com/drWnwflSOE

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) October 4, 2016

Still, in all the sadness and worry, Bana holds out hope for a better world — one without bombs, killing, and destruction.

"A time will come when it's raining normal and not raining bombs in Syria," Fatemah tweeted on Nov. 2. "Good night dear friends."

Good morning from #Aleppo. - Bana http://pic.twitter.com/3gt0Rl6X6g

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) October 28, 2016

In recent days, the bombings have gotten worse, and Bana's messages have become more direct.

On Nov. 24, Bana posted a video with a simple message: "Someone save me."

Someone save me now please. Hiding in the bed.- Bana #Aleppo http://pic.twitter.com/SuyHWO99Mz

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 24, 2016

On Nov. 27, Fatemah shared a farewell message, certain that she and Bana would die in that night's bombings.

The army got in, this could be our last days sincerely talking. No Internet. Please please please pray for us.- Fatemah #Aleppo

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 27, 2016

Last message - under heavy bombardments now, can't be alive anymore. When we die, keep talking for 200,000 still inside. BYE.- Fatemah

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 27, 2016

Luckily, they survived the attack. Their home was destroyed, and they witnessed their friends' deaths. But they're still here.

Tonight we have no house, it's bombed & I got in rubble. I saw deaths and I almost died. - Bana #Aleppo http://pic.twitter.com/arGYZaZqjg

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 27, 2016

The very next day, Fatemah tweeted that they were under attack again.

Message - we are on the run as many people killed right now in heavy bombardments. We are fighting for our lives. still with you.- Fatemah

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 28, 2016

We have no home now. I got minor injury. I didn't sleep since yesterday, I am hungry. I want to live, I don't want to die. - Bana #Aleppo

— Bana Alabed (@AlabedBana) November 28, 2016

It's easy to feel detached when something is happening half a world away. Bana's tweets are a reminder of just what is at stake if we ignore what's happening in Aleppo. Luckily, there are some great groups doing important work to help people like Bana and Fatemah on the ground in Aleppo.

There are steps you can take to help Bana, Fatemah, and others in Aleppo.

Groups like the Syrian American Medical Society and Doctors Without Borders have been crucial in providing first-line medical help to civilians affected by the war. With the city's hospitals destroyed, their work is more important than ever. Questscope has been instrumental in getting Syrians basic supplies for living, and Save the Children has launched its own humanitarian response in the city.

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Matthew McConaughey surprised University of Texas students looking for a safe ride home.

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Dozens of college students in Austin, Texas, looking for a safe ride home from campus last weekend were greeted by a surprise chauffeur.

Longhorns take care of each other, and it's 'safe' to say Matthew McConaughey agrees. Don't forget to use SURE Walk when traveling home late at night; you never know who might pick you up! #BeSafe #SafeChats

Posted by The University of Texas Student Government on Monday, November 28, 2016

Movie star Matthew McConaughey showed up on the University of Texas campus for an hour to drive golf carts for SURE Walk, a program that escorts students to and from campus late at night.

SURE — which stands for Students United for Rape Elimination — was founded in 1983, to combat sexual assault and violence on and off campus by offering free walks home to students. The school's student government reached out to McConaughey, an Austin native, to help promote the service, which he did, to the delight and shock of many students.

"A lot of people were surprised and kind of thrilled by what happened," SURE Walk director Krishan Sachdev says.

Students take selfies with McConaughey. Photo by Billy Begala/YouTube.

Sachdev explained that the program expanded last year to include golf carts, like the one McConaughey captained, and an SUV, in an effort to make the experience more user-friendly. Since then, he says, use of the service has increased by 200%.  

In addition to his driver duties, McConaughey posed for pictures with students and shot a candid promotional video for the program.

Sachdev says student government has undertaken efforts to beef up and publicize the program after a high-profile murder on campus last year.

Whether the program can make a larger dent in the rate of sexual assault, which often occurs behind closed doors between people who know each other — or even between significant others — remains to be seen. Nevertheless, colleges across America have become more aggressive in their attempts to combat rape and sexual violence in recent years, with current and former students taking the initiative in many of the most high-profile cases, often finding themselves at odds with administrators in the process.

Still, Sachdev hopes that McConaughey's appearance will help publicize the program to students who might otherwise hesitate to use it.

SURE Walk recently expanded its operating hours from 10 p.m.–2 a.m. to 7 p.m.–2 a.m.

"Matthew McConaughey really, really helped us in trying to normalize this service and trying to bring it to students' attention that we're here and we're here to stay," Sachdev says.

Photo by Billy Begala/YouTube.

As UT students learned over the weekend, there's nothing like a world-famous movie star rolling up in a golf cart to make asking for help seem, ironically, normal.

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What's it like to actually live inside a defunct airport? Ask a Syrian family.

War took everything from them. Now they're looking for stability.

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“We used to have a happy and beautiful life," said one mother and refugee. "Hopefully we will return to those days. Hopefully we will return to our country.”

This mom, her husband, and their four sons lived in Syria before the war started. (Due to safety concerns, we won't use their names.)

Their lives changed completely when war broke out. The sound of bombs kept the kids up at night. She was terrified, afraid for her children's safety.

One day, when they weren't at home, their house was bombed and destroyed. Their lives were spared, but they knew they had to leave. So the family fled the country and now they’re making the best of their new reality. This is their story.

*This is a 360-degree video. Use the arrows in the top left corner to rotate the video and get a full glimpse of each room.

The conflict took everything from them. The life they knew, the life she’d dreamed of for her sons, was gone. They’re safe, but they’ve had to leave so much behind in order to ensure their continued safety.

“A refugee is not someone who comes for money," she said. "It’s not about money at all. It’s about our children’s safety so they can have stability.”

Today this family and around 1,700 other refugees are living in an old airport in Germany.

Tempelhof airport. Photo via Martina Roell/Flickr.

When the Syrian refugee crisis hit, Germany opened its doors. “We don’t want anyone who has experienced war and terror to have to sleep on the streets,” said parliament member Daniel Buchholz in January 2016. With this in mind, a vote was passed to turn what many would call an iconic building into a refuge.

Tempelhof, a decommissioned airport that was the site of the Berlin Airlift in 1948-1949, is now filled with tents and little partitions that have been set up for the thousands of refugees who now call it home.

The spaces are small. In some cases, there are 10 or more people sharing 270 square feet of space. Families that didn’t know each other before are now becoming intimately acquainted as they try to carve out some sense of normalcy. It’s not an ideal living situation, but at least it's safer than what they left behind.

A man, his three kids, and his brother, all fleeing the violence in Syria. Photo via DFID, U.K. Department for International Development/Flickr.

“I dream of a modest house where I can live happily with my children," the refugee mother of four said. "A house that brings us together."

She and the other refugees are hoping for news that there is a house for them. They are hoping that they’ll be able to leave the camp, integrate into German society, and rebuild their lives. Children are excited to attend school, while their parents worry about their safety and about whether they’ll be accepted into their new society.

This isn’t a situation they expected to be in, but as victims of war, they’re doing what they can to survive. They’re doing what they can to build a stable future. And the protection offered by Germany’s government is getting them one step closer to making their dreams of stability a reality.

A mom and her daughter, Syrian refugees living in the U.K. Photo via DFID, U.K. Department for International Development/Flickr.

The refugee crisis has been met with a lot of fear. It's easy to get caught up in the politics and to worry about the unknown, but the unknown is what these families are living every day — dreaming of a future that, for right now, they're powerless to create. They're relying on other countries to open their doors and for citizens to open their hearts. They're asking for the opportunity to have a fresh start.

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This is how depression can affect a person's day-to-day.

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This story was originally published on The Mighty.

Living with depression is difficult for a myriad reasons as one experiences symptoms, including weight changes, disrupted sleep patterns, disinterest, apathy, etc.  

But a life with depression is evident in even more subtle ways. How is depression reflected in our everyday tasks? What tiny changes occur in the lives of those who have depression that end up dismantling their entire support system?

Here are 10 ways depression is reflected subtly in daily lives:

1. You stop using products you usually use daily.

A number of old lotions, makeup, and toiletries remain sealed, even after the expiration date.

2. Something smells bad.

The fridge is full of food gone bad. You promise to use everything the next time you go grocery shopping. But you don’t.

3. People ask if you’re sick.

You’ve begun to care less about your appearances and hygiene with each passing day. Having a “personal style” seems exhausting.

4. Your room starts to get messy.

Your personal space is cluttered and messy. It needs cleaning far more frequently than you can manage.

5. The barista can’t hear you.

The strength in your voice subsides. Ordering a coffee is a challenge with your soft voice. To make matters worse, you slur words sometimes.

6. You have no clean clothes.

That pile of laundry has been sitting in the corner for longer than you can remember. It will quite possibly sit there until your last favorite pair of shorts needs washing too.

7. The garbage is overflowing.

Your garbage can is full of wrappers from junk food. You hope no one goes dumpster-diving in your garbage; it would be embarrassing for anyone to see how many chips you eat.

8. You start getting behind with work.

Image via iStock.

Your school work, work assignments, and tasks are all past due. You tell yourself the next time around you’ll get on it first thing. But even you know you can’t.

9. You start canceling plans.

You are a master at making excuses for work, social meetings, and school. What’s the point in going when no one can hear your soft voice anyway?

10. It’s hard to get in touch with you.

Answering phone calls? Answering doors? The anxiety that sets in every time the bell or phone rings goes through the roof.

These are only some of the ways depression can be reflected in people’s lives. Not everyone is the same and neither is their depression.

Making changes to these small fallbacks is the first step toward confidence, self-love, self-appreciation, and a healthier, fuller life. You deserve it.

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This story was originally published on The Mighty and is republished here with permission. The Mighty is a platform for people facing health challenges to share their stories and connect. Enter your email here, and they’ll put you on their weekly newsletter list.

If you liked this story, you might also want to check out: We Cannot Continue to Overlook 'High-Functioning' Depression.We Cannot Continue to Overlook 'High-Functioning' Depression.

15 delicious ways to reduce food waste.

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I wouldn’t claim to be an environmental whiz kid, but I do the best I can.

I truly believe that even the smallest effort can make a huge difference. I read the numbers on the bottom of my plastic containers to make sure they can be recycled. I use empty bottles of wine to help water my plants — that’s really a win-win because I no longer have to remember to water them! But, I fall short in a few areas. I rarely finish a plate of food and have been guilty of tossing everything in my fridge in search of the one item that’s causing a funk.

Then I learned about food waste. And it’s no joke.

Food is the single largest contributor to landfills, and 40% of food in the U.S. is never eaten. That's a whole lot! But food waste isn't just about what winds up in our trash cans. Producing all of that wasted food uses over 20% of the U.S. supply of freshwater — that's more water than is used by California, Texas, and Ohio combined — and creates as much greenhouse gas emissions as 33 million passenger cars.

Trash on trash on trash. And it doesn't all have to be! Image via Petrr/Flickr.

And food is a tricky issue in general. At the same time all of this food is being wasted, there are so many places, in the U.S. and abroad, where families simply do not have access to the nutritious foods that are out there.

Given all this, it seemed worth taking a look at ways to reduce food waste — or, at the very least, our individual food waste. These tips aren't a cure-all, but doing just a little bit can help to make these very big issues just a bit smaller. Here are a few of my favorites.

First things first: In an ideal world, our food wouldn't go bad.

Sometimes we can’t avoid it. We put a pear at the bottom of a bowl, and by the time we get to it, it’s becoming pear cider. But that’s what refrigerators are for! Did you know that those drawers at the bottom serve a specific purpose? I didn’t. Turns out, it's called a crisper for a reason. Want to become an expert at storing your fruits and veggies? Here are a few tips:

• Potatoes, onions, and tomatoes don't need to be kept in the fridge. It's actually better if they aren't.
• Salad greens should be stored in bags filled with a little air and sealed tightly. As someone who tries to remove all air from ziplock bags, this was an interesting tip.
• Not all fruits can be stored together: Avocados, bananas, and kiwis produce ethylene as they ripen, so they need to be separated from fruits like apples to prevent the latter from going bad.  

Those two drawers? They aren't just for top shelf overflow. Image via LaraLove/Wikimedia Commons.

Now, if you have a few food items that are already past their prime, there’s still time! These recipes are for you.

Full disclosure: I tried a few of these myself, but most of the delicious goodness you’re about to see is courtesy of the DIY mavens online.

Bruised fruit just ... isn’t cute. But it’s still delicious.

Bananas look downright unappealing when they’re brown and spotty on the outside, but did you know that’s actually when they’re at the best for a few recipes?

I had a very unattractive banana lying around and decided to put it to good use.

Not looking so good, banana. Image by Mae Cromwell/Upworthy.

1. Meet banana fritters.

I made these myself. And they were delicious. Image by Mae Cromwell/Upworthy.

2. And banana bread is another great way to get rid of your spotted bananas!

Image via Jo del Corro/Flickr.

3. Do you have overripe peaches, strawberries, or really any fruit you find irresistible? Turn it into jam! It’s surprisingly easy.

These jars of home-canned peaches look SO good. Image via Rachel Tayse/Flickr.

4. Love breakfast foods? Your bruised fruit can play a role there, too. Those fruit-filled pancakes aren’t just for a fancy brunch. Smash your overripe fruit in a bowl, and make your own pancakes at home.

*Drooling.* Image via Matheus Swanson/Flickr.

5. And how about popsicles? Did you know you could make those with overripe fruit? Your bruised peaches never looked so good.

Image via Sameer Goyal/Flickr.

And then there’s stale bread — it still has its uses!

6. Confession: I’m not much of a bread eater. Too often, I’d buy a loaf of gluten-free bread, forget about it, and toss it. But now I know that dried out bread can be transformed and used for something I really do like: breading things! Fried catfish is going to be perfect from now on.

I'm absurdly proud of these bread crumbs! Image by Mae Cromwell/Upworthy.

7. And if you eat a lot of salads, spice them up with homemade croutons.

Croutons have never looked so good. Image via Tasha/Flickr.

A lot of us have fallen victim to wasting parts of a whole rotisserie chicken. But not anymore.

After that first meal, there’s often so much chicken left that next steps can be confusing. Do you eat the same meal for a few days or toss the leftovers? Do neither! There are tons of ways to reuse leftover chicken.

8. Tacos

A Taco Tuesday staple. Image via Larry Hoffman/Flickr.

9. Chicken salad

Image via Lara604/Flickr.

10. BBQ it! Yes, you can take the same chicken, slather some BBQ sauce all over it, and voilà! A new meal. You can eat it as-is or shred it and make a sandwich. The world is yours.

Mouth-watering leftovers. Image via jeffreyw/Flickr.

11. As we head into winter, you can't go wrong with some comforting chicken soup.

Perfect for a chilly day. Or any day, really. Image via Carol VanHook/Flickr.

12. And as a new West Coast resident, I can vouch for chicken quesadillas. Shred or chop up your leftovers and make them part of this meal. You won’t regret it.

Image via Andy Melton/Flickr.

And — this is mind-blowing — you can revive some of that produce you wrote off as goners. Yes, you read that right.

13. Carrots?

14. Lettuce?  

15. Parsley?

As certain vegetables wilt and start to lose their texture, they can be revived with some good ol’ water. Seriously. This is like a magic trick that we can all pull off.

So, you get it: Food waste sucks, but there are (delicious) ways to contribute to the solution.

Try some of these tips at home, and post your own tips! You never know which one of your tips can save someone else a ton of time and money while helping us all to treat this planet a little bit better.

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