Monday, July 31, 2017

This animated short about a gay kid 'outed by his heart' is the absolute cutest.


After much breathless waiting and anticipation, the animated kids short, "In a Heartbeat," was finally released on July 31, 2017.

The four-minute short film — which follows a closeted boy as he "runs the risk of being outed by his own heart after it pops out of his chest to chase down the boy of his dreams" — has captivated certain corners of the internet since its trailer was released in May and instantly went viral.

The finished film is just as adorable and sweet and pure and squee-worthy as fans were hoping.

People are just totally loving it.

Like, honestly, truly adoring it.

The short is only four minutes long and completely void of narration or dialogue.

But its creators, Beth David and Esteban Bravo — who completed the project as part of their college senior thesis project — were able to invoke so many relatable emotions to queer fans watching at home: the helplessness of puppy love, the adolescent dread of being outed as LGBTQ, the judgmental gaze from peers when you are outed as LGBTQ, and the comfort of finally learning you're not alone.

The project's 30-second trailer tugged at heart strings back in May, so you can imagine what a difference the full movie is making now.

"We're very touched by the response we've gotten so far and we're happy to know that our project has already had a positive impact on so many people," the creators said about two months ago of the film's blossoming fandom. "It proves to us that there is a need and a want for media that addresses LGBT+ themes in a positive and lighthearted way."

The two hoped their film's positive reception will lead to more LGBTQ-inclusive films being produced down the line.

Fans, it seems, passionately agree:

Take four minutes out of your day and watch "In a Heartbeat" right now, below:




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

You probably haven't heard of nature deficit disorder — but you could still have it.


When's the last time you spent time in nature?

Real nature — not you standing under a tree for shade so you could see your cellphone screen better before hopping your city's subway system.

When was the last time you actually sat on some real green grass, surrounded by living trees, plants, and wildlife that doesn't consist of the pigeon you've named Joe that hangs out on your apartment window?

If it's "been a while," you could actually have something called "nature deficit disorder."

If you have never heard of nature deficit disorder, you're not alone.

While it's not exactly a medical term, according to the man who coined the term — Richard Louv — there are very real problems that result from people losing their connection to nature. "[It’s] a useful term — a metaphor — to describe what many of us believe are the human costs of alienation from nature," he explains over email.

Louv in his garden. Image via Richard Louv, used with permission.

"Human beings have been moving more of their activities indoors since the invention of agriculture then, later, the Industrial Revolution," he explains.

Urbanization has only made the problem worse. Today, over half the world’s population live in urban areas, and according to the World Health Organization, over the next few decades, that number is expected to keep rising.

This means more and more people are living in crowded cities with very little access to parks, grass, or even a playground — which can take a huge toll on health.

Technology also makes everything harder — causing us all to spend more time staring at a screen than a real, live tree. This can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health.

That’s why Louv has spent his career trying to raise awareness for this issue and convince people to spend more time outdoors.

Growing up in Missouri and Kansas, Louv spent much of his childhood playing in the woods with his dog. But as he grew up, he began to realize just how difficult it was for him to find the time to spend outdoors.

Work, family and technology demands just made it tough for him to step away.

In fact, the only way he could "build" nature into his schedule was to take full-on "techno-fasts" with his wife, leaving all electronics behind as they disappeared into the mountains for a few days at a time.

Of course, it didn’t take Louv long to realize this struggle to find time for nature wasn’t unique to him or his family, so he decided to throw himself headfirst into researching this problem.

The result was three books, and numerous articles in publications like The New York Times, to plead his case with parents everywhere to make time for nature.

He also co-founded the Children and Nature Network, an organization dedicated to connecting families and communities to nature and the tools they need to make "nature time" a reality.

The good news is that it isn’t hard to "treat" nature deficit disorder — it just takes a little effort and, obviously, some time outdoors.

"We all can create new natural habitats in and around our homes, schools, neighborhoods, workplaces, cities and suburbs, so that, even in inner cities, our children grow up in nature — not with it, but in it," Louv says.

And the truth is, you don’t even have to spend a ton of time outdoors to start feeling the benefits of nature.

Start by looking for your closest park and go there. Take the whole family, and spend the day exploring. Take a hike if you’re up for it, or spend the whole day lounging by a lake.

"We need to schedule nature time," Louv says.

Every little bit helps.

Research shows that even a small dose of nature can reduce stress, lessen negative thoughts, and have positive effects on psychological well-being.

Some studies even suggest that bouts with nature can boost short-term memory, reduce inflammation, and improve your vision.  

And for kids, the benefits are even better.

"Studies strongly suggest that time in nature can help many children learn to build confidence in themselves," Louv explains, and it can help calm them down and focus in school.

Image by by Annie Spratt/Unsplash.

He notes, "Time spent in nature is obviously not a cure-all, but it can be an enormous help, especially for kids who are stressed by circumstances beyond their control."  

Contact with nature, Louv continues, allows children to see they are part of a larger world that includes them.

"Studies show that people who care deeply about the future of the environment almost always enjoyed transcendent experiences in nature when they were children," he says.

Spending time outdoors doesn’t just benefit us individually, it can also transform our relationship with the world around us.

"If nature experiences continue to fade from the current generation of young people, and the next, and the ones to follow, where will future stewards of the earth come from?" Louv says.

It is his hope that by getting parents involved in bringing nature to their kids early and frequently that we can all, collectively, change our relationship to the natural world for the better.




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Matt Bomer opened up about going to a rural Texas high school as a gay kid.


Matt Bomer wasn't always a confident leading man strutting down red carpets and snagging Emmy nominations.

In high school, the A-lister was like many of us: desperately trying to make it through in one piece.

Photo by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for GLSEN.

For the actor — and millions of other LGBTQ people — that meant burying a big part of his identity early on.

Sitting down with Andy Cohen on "Watch What Happens Live" to promote his new series, Amazon's "The Last Tycoon," Bomer opened up about compartmentalizing his life as a gay teenager.

"When you were in high school," Cohen asked. "Did you know that you were gay?"

“On some level, yeah," Bomer answered. "But I think to protect myself at a semi-rural public high school in Texas, I was sort of like, ‘well, I’ll put this off to the side right now.'"

"I was definitely operating from a place of just being able to survive,” Bomer said.

Photo by Donna Ward/Getty Images.

Bomer came out later, in college, in large part thanks to seeing and being around other out and proud LGBTQ people.

"I was working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival [after graduating from high school]," Bomer noted. "I was inspired by all the artists I saw there who were just living their lives really openly.”

In 2011, Bomer married publicist Simon Halls, and the pair have three children together.

Being openly LGBTQ as a teen may be more common now than when Bomer was in school, but the actor's comments touch on a point about representation that's still relevant today.

Research suggests young LGBTQ people actively search out role models they can relate to in order to make up for a lack of social support their straight and cisgender (not transgender) peers benefit from. With fewer or less visible role models, closeted LGBTQ kids may struggle to see themselves — and their future selves — in the world around them.

And that's why Bomer — who admitted to signing up to play football in order to "cover [his] tracks" for taking part in the high school play — has continued using the spotlight to speak out about LGBTQ visibility in the media.

Photo by D. Dipasupil/Getty Images.

Shortly after publicly coming out in February 2012, Bomer was honored with the Inspiration Award from GLSEN, a nonprofit aimed at creating safe and affirming schools for all LGBTQ kids in the U.S.

"When you aren't allowed to speak about who you are, one of the most authentic parts of who you are — which is who you love or who you're attracted to — feels invisible," Bomer said while accepting his award. "GLSEN gives visibility and authenticity to kids all across the country."

Now, under the threats of a new administration willing to take away the rights of transgender students, GLSEN's work is more crucial than ever.

Learn more about and get involved with GLSEN, and watch Bomer's interview on "Watch What Happens Live" below.

Cohen asked about Bomer's high school experience at about the 5:25 mark.




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Marvel writer harassed for having a milkshake with coworkers? It's as silly as it sounds.

Her milkshake brought all the trolls to the yard.


A woman got a milkshake with some coworkers, and the internet lost its collective mind.

Seriously.

Heather Antos is an editor at Marvel, where she's worked on titles like "The Unbelievable Gwenpool" and "Star Wars." It was Friday afternoon, and she and a few coworkers decided to get a milkshake. She snapped a quick picture of the group and posted it to Twitter with the caption, "It's the Marvel milkshake crew! #FabulousFlo" (a reference to Flo Steinberg, a key to Marvel's success, who passed away in July).

This totally innocent and normal photo of seven coworkers hanging out and having a good time was enough to enrage a certain section of the internet. Over the course of the coming days, Antos was flooded with tweets and direct messages accusing her of being a "fake geek girl" or calling the group a bunch of "SJWs" (SJW is short for "social justice warrior," an epithet often used by anti-feminist types to attack people they see as trying to push a social agenda in some way or another). In other words, the response to the photo was completely bonkers and just disproportionate.

Screencaps via Twitter.

Antos, who was only trying to share a joyful moment with some colleagues, felt pretty down about the whole thing — understandably so.

In response, Twitter users rallied around the hashtag #MakeMineMilkshake, showing solidarity with Antos and all women working in comics.

Plus, it was a pretty good excuse to step out and grab a delicious milkshake, and honestly, who doesn't like that? (OK, aside from people who are lactose intolerant?)

The official Marvel Twitter account even got in on the action, sharing a frame from "Young Avengers, Volume 2."

A number of artists shared some original work in support too.

Fans, colleagues, and others chimed in with words of encouragement as well.

The fact that there are people who see a picture of a few coworkers hanging out and think, "This is what's wrong with comics today!" is really toxic.

"Captain Marvel" writer and best-selling author Margaret Stohl let out an exasperated sigh of a tweet about some of the negative attention women in comics get simply for existing.

Alanna Smith, a Marvel assistant editor who was in the original milkshake photo, summed the whole ordeal up in a tweet of her own.

People of all ages and genders can enjoy and create comic books.

In April, a Marvel executive made news when he said that "people didn't want any more diversity" in comics to account for a drop in sales. But as others have pointed out, that argument doesn't actually hold up to scrutiny.

No, "SJWs" aren't trying to "ruin" anyone's childhood. And even if they were, let's just let people drink their milkshakes in peace, OK?




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

The wonderful reason this woman is selling bags made from retired theater backdrops.

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

There weren't many nice moments on last night's 'Game of Thrones.' We found 5 anyway.


Welcome to “A Song of Nice and Fire” Upworthy’s weekly series recapping one of the most brutal shows on TV. Since brutality is not really in our wheelhouse, Eric March has taken it upon himself to dig deep, twist and turn, and squint really hard to see if he can find the light of kindness in all the darkness. He may not always succeed, but by gosh if he won’t try his best.

Here’s what he found on this week’s "Game of Thrones."

To think just last week, the characters on this show were curing fatal diseases, caressing each other tenderly, and trading pie recipes.

About that. Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Back to reality, I guess.

In an episode that saw handful of fan favorite (and decidedly non-favorite) characters outmaneuvered, boxed in, and poisoned, I'll admit there really wasn't much loving kindness to go around.

Still, it's my job to find whatever glimmer of niceness there is, and because I like my health plan, I reached way down deep and found ... some very nice moments in season seven, episode three of "Game of Thrones."

OK, really, really, really deep.

Here goes.

1. Sansa makes sure her knights are warm 'n cozy!

"No, I haven't read Reinhold Niebuhr, what does he have to say about neo-orthodox realist theology?" Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

With Jon gone having his dire warnings laughed off and his boat curiously appropriated, would Sansa rise to the challenge of leading the North?

Unsurprisingly, yeah, duh.

At rise this week, we find her striding through Winterfell serving orders to the castle's various similar-looking maesters, making sure the hay goes where it needs to go and, most importantly, getting her southern palls to strap leather on their armor so they don't freeze to death.

Look at those leadership skills blossoming!

Of course, she still has to endure Littlefinger's incessant monologuing. "Every possible series of events is happening all at once," he says, reminding Sansa that, yes, he is taking that freshman philosophy seminar and, yes, he did do all the reading this week.

This is really your game, guy?

I mean...

Ugh.

It's going to work, isn't it?

2. Some random Ironborn dudes are kind enough to hoist Theon out of the sea!

Oh good, Theon gets to keep on living!

Theon and Yara, seen here in happier times. Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

A gaggle of clanky boatsmen do the erstwhile heir to the Iron Islands a solid by not just sailing by and letting him drown. They do manage to insult him in the process, but even still, it's more than Theon deserves.

His Uncle Euron, meanwhile, gets a parade down the one street in King's Landing we all know ... and sister Yara gets to join for free! Unfortunately, she has to endure it from the cheap seats where you get rotten vegetables hurled at you. After a long journey, though, maybe it was nice to briefly sniff a decaying tomato or two?

I'd go for it.

3. Cersei allows herself to briefly experience empathy!

"Even though we're enemies, you and I, I understand the fury that drives you."

That line, delivered to a shackled and gagged Ellaria Sand, clocks in at precisely two seconds — the longest sustained appreciation Cersei has ever expressed for another human being's perspective.

Just thinkin' up ways to torture you. Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Yes, the very next thing she does is condemn Tyene to a painful death of unknown duration and Ellaria to hanging out with her dead daughter's corpse for weeks or years or decades, but hey! I got Cersei on this week's list of nice moments. Cersei! I didn't even have to cheat.

Oh, and sub-nice thing shoutout to Davids Benioff and Weiss for choosing not to subject us to another implied, gratuitous rape-and-torture-by-Mountain. The scene was clearly, totally headed there until all of a sudden it wasn't and, well ... phew! Good call, everyone.

4. Daenerys treats Jon to an all-you-can-mine obsidian buffet!

The dragon's share of the episode is taken up by a long-winded meeting between Jon Snow and his Aunt Dany (here's the long-speculated, Bran-affirmed family tree from last season's finale) who, strangely, is skeptical about this whole "White Walker" thing despite giving birth to three flying, fire-breathing, sky dinosaurs like, last week. Perhaps it's because she's skeptical of the messenger — the beardy guy with the wolf snuggie who calls himself "king" and won't pledge his allegiance despite the dozens (hundreds) of curvy blades within torso-piercing range.

Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Still, the would-be queen needs allies, and so, after apologizing for the time her dad napalmed Jon's grandpa and uncle to death, she tells him to help himself to all the dragonglass he wants and get the heck out.

Sure, she doesn't want the stuff or even really know what it is, but she can tell the guy is earnest, and besides, you gotta respect anyone who comes so far south with a dead animal on their neck.

That's just fashion-forward.

5. Jamie kills Olenna the nice way!

"Oh, one more thing real quick." Image by Helen Sloan/HBO.

The bad news? Cersei manages to foil Tyrion's too-clever-by-half sewer invasion plan by sending the bulk of her army to murder an old lady.

The good news? Jaime is the one who gets to do the murdering, and as a certified Reformed Bad Guy in Good Standing, he lets the Queen of Thorns take the (relatively) easy way out.

In a world in which revenge killing typically consists of beheading, flaying alive, hungry dog-siccing, stabbing-through-the-pregnant-belly, and/or slow neck slicing after force-feeding the blissfully-unaware-condemned his own relatives, a quick, painless poison-in-the-wine counts as a win.

Even when the elder Tyrell lets it slip that she killed Jaime's kid way back in season four, he chooses to sullen himself out of the room rather than revert to Cersei's original head-slicing plan.

Score one for that famous Lannister restraint!

Random Acts of Niceness

  • I suppose it's nice that Bran complimented Sansa's dress, but did he really have to bring up her wedding day? Yeah, he wasn't around for the aftermath, but dude is all-knowing and all-seeing. Come on.
  • It's cool that Archmaester Ebrose doesn't expel Sam from the Citadel. As long as the Xerox machine is up and running, Sam should be all good.
  • Jaime Lannister actually sends his regards to Robb Stark. Nice of him not to hold grudges.

Whew. That was a stretch, y'all!

See you next week when hopefully someone picks Grey Worm up in a Jeep, Bronn stitches Randyll Tarly a lanyard for his broadsword, and Varys makes a friend who doesn't run around vaguely forecasting his doom. Should be fun!




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Friday, July 28, 2017

Two friends started a law firm for the Trump era. They're already getting results. 


The day President Trump signed an executive order barring immigration from seven predominately Muslim countries was the day Victoria Slatton knew she'd have to quit her job.

As an asylum officer at the Department of Homeland Security, Slatton helped determine whether some of the world's most vulnerable people had the right to settle in the United States.

Now, she feared, she'd be expected to shut the door on far too many.

"I didn’t feel like my morals aligned with my old job anymore," she explains.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Discouraged but fired up, Slatton teamed up with best friend and law school classmate Michelle Stilwell to start a firm to help immigrants face down forces attempting to keep them out and send them home.

Stilwell proposed the idea — half-seriously — after discussions with her roommate, a non-citizen, who was worried about how members of her family would fare under the policies of the incoming administration.

"She basically told us, 'If you ever go into the immigration field, there’s a lot of people that could use you,'" Stilwell recalls.

The pair had discussed starting the firm prior to Slatton's decision to leave her job, but the "Muslim ban" put their plan into hyperdrive.

Stillwell (left) and Slatton. Photo by Jeff Ferrell.

With less than three post-law-school years between them, the partners gave themselves a crash course in running a business from scratch — setting up bookkeeping practices, planning a marketing strategy, and how to accept clients, which they began doing in April 2017.

Now, they help their clients — several of whom hail from the seven named countries — navigate the complex, ever-shifting challenges related to the ban.

With the uncertainty surrounding the Supreme Court's recent stay of the lower court decision pre-empting the ban, the pair are primarily advising those affected by it to be careful and stay up-to-date on the news to prepare for whatever happens next.

A detainee after his release at Los Angeles airport on Feb. 2. Photo by Mark Ralson/Getty Images.

"With a lot of people, no matter how watered down the travel ban has gotten or where it is now, I think the fear is if the Supreme Court rules in Trump’s favor, it’s kind of like, ‘What is the next step?'" Stillwell explains.

Slatton says she was surprised by the intensity of some of the backlash the firm has generated.

After a series of early news reports on the new business, the pair say they received a raft of racist, graphic, violent emails, including some death threats.

"As white women, you’re not used to that sort of hatred and animosity and racism just being flung at you," Stilwell says. "To think that our clients and other people, other immigrants in the world, are going through that on a daily basis, it was shocking.”

Nevertheless, they've been overwhelmed by support they've gotten, even from "very conservative" relatives.

Explaining their devotion to their work to their families, both report, has been an ongoing process involving many conversations and personal anecdotes about their clients to remind relatives that no two immigrant stories are the same.

Both feel they've made progress. Recently, Slatton's father relayed some of those stories to a group of his friends.

"Just to hear him defend not only me, but my clients, it was heartwarming," Slatton says.

Despite the cloud of the ban, Slatton and Stilwell are excited for what comes next.

The partners become most animated when talking about their successes — small and large — on behalf of their clients, like preparing a case for a man who was labor trafficked into the United States.

Or discovering that a recent assault victim suddenly qualified for a rock-solid humanitarian visa.

Or the veteran who they encouraged to apply for the green card he's owed.

In an era of uncertainty, this is how they're holding firm to their values.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images.

"[It's] a lot of work, but really satisfying when you find a solution for them," Slatton says.

With each victory, they join the growing ranks of Americans who are making a difference by sticking their necks out for the most vulnerable — whether by making calls, sitting in their senators' offices, or starting a law firm.




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Parents hear this 'polite' phrase all the time, but one mom just perfectly shut it down.


Parents — especially those with multiple kids — know the phrase: "Oof, you must have your hands full!"

It's a common refrain from strangers who see us out and about.

Sometimes it even comes along with an "I feel sorry for you," if you're really lucky.

While it's a mostly harmless comment meant to show admiration, it struck a nerve with one mom when a stranger in Walmart dished it out to her while she shopped with her three kids.

Courtney Lester took to Facebook to share how she wishes she had responded to the man who told her he felt "sorry" for her.

After all, dealing with those raucous kids (who were riding quietly in the cart) must be such a burden!

For starters, Lester wrote, never comment on the size of someone's family — more than likely, you don't know the whole story.

"What you can't tell is that I lost 2 babies before being blessed with my last 2," she wrote. "So if you want to feel sorry for me, there's the only reason why you should."

With as many as 20% of pregnancies ending in miscarriage, it's best to never assume.

To the stranger in Wal-Mart who said "I feel sorry for you, you have your hands full with all those kids", this is what...

Posted by Courtney Lester on Monday, June 19, 2017

But the even bigger takeaway from Lester: Raising kids is hard, but that doesn't mean it's a burden.

In fact, quite the opposite. Doctors initially told Lester she likely wouldn't be able to get pregnant again after having her first child, so she knows a thing or two about being appreciative of all the little moments, the ups and downs, the long days, and the laughs and the tears along the way.

"Some days, I can't wait for bedtime. My children keep me on my toes and one of them always needs something, but I have never viewed them as an inconvenience or a reason for someone to 'feel sorry' for me. Even on days when they won't listen, have meltdowns, and when it seems like nothing I do is good enough, I have never felt sorry for myself and I don't expect others to either. If having 3 kids automatically makes my hands full, so be it... But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is more full than my hands could ever be."

Judging by the overwhelming response to her post, which has gone viral with over 22,000 Likes on Facebook, she's not the only parent around who wouldn't trade her little rascals for anything.

Even a judgment-free stroll through Walmart.




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

13 tweets about last night's health care vote that should be in history books.

An all-too-familiar scenario played out after the failed Trumpcare vote.


Sen. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) tried to pull a fast one on America, putting crucial health care legislation up for a vote in the early hours of July 28. Unfortunately for McConnell and other supporters of the so-called "Skinny Repeal" bill, it was struck down in a dramatic moment with 51 senators voting against it.

"Trumpcare," at least in its current form, was dead.

Joining 48 Democratic and Independent "no" votes were three Republicans: Lisa Murkowski (Alaska), Susan Collins (Maine), and in a dramatic last minute pivot,  John McCain (Arizona).

From left, Murkowski, McCain, and Collins. Photos by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Though Murkowski and Collins have maintained their opposition to the bill from the start, McCain has been getting what miiiiiiight be seen as a disproportionate amount of credit for killing it.

For example:

Watching a man getting more credit than women for the same amount of work seemed a bit familiar to many Twitter users, who were quick to make sure Murkowski and Collins get the place in history they deserve.

After all, it was McCain's "yes" vote earlier in the week that led the Senate to the precipice in the first place while Collins and Murkowski were steadfast in their opposition. Collins and Murkowski spent the days in between the two votes getting threats from members within their own party while McCain received praise from the president himself.

McCain's decisive "no" vote on Friday places him solidly on the right side of history, protecting health care for millions of Americans, but watching him place his two votes was a bit like watching someone light a house on fire, help others put it out, and then get all the credit.

In many ways, Collins and Murkowski's votes were tougher than McCain's. While Collins isn't up for re-election until 2020 and Murkowski until 2022, it's likely that they'll both seek it, meaning that this vote could come to define them for better or for worse. Additionally, President Donald Trump threatened to retaliate against Murkowski if she voted against the bill. McCain, on the other hand, now 80 years old and recently diagnosed with brain cancer, has probably run his last campaign.

Add in the fact that separate House Republicans appear to have half-jokingly threatened Murkowski and Collins in the past week, and it's clear that the senators won't exactly be seen as popular with certain segments of the party moving forward.

Beyond McCain, Collins, Murkowski, and the other 48 "no" votes, it's important to remember the real heroes of the health care fight: regular people doing extraordinary things.

Activists played a huge role in shutting down the effort to gut the Affordable Care Act that shouldn't go overlooked.

The ACLU shared some stunning numbers from its push to stop the bill, noting that 89,000 supporters e-mailed members of Congress, made nearly 19,000 phone calls, and attended hundreds of in-person events.

And organizations like disability rights activists ADAPT kept sustained pressure on senators of all stripes to do the right thing.

Three of our tough women leaders of Atlantis ADAPT (Denver, CO) in DC at the Senate healthcare vigil at the US Capitol....

Posted by National ADAPT on Thursday, July 27, 2017

In the end, blocking Trumpcare was a group effort. Senators, representatives, and ordinary everyday Americans came together in the name of what's right.




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Stress is an epidemic among our kids. 7 experts give 8 tips on how to help.


School can be a ton of fun, but for many kids, it can also be a pretty big source of stress and anxiety as well.

I know that face. Photo from iStock.

A little stress now and then is an unfortunate fact of life, but it seems like kids are more stressed than ever these days. Overwhelming, toxic stress can actually affect how a child's brain grows and develops and can increase the risk for mental health issues later in life.

"The good news is the brain is malleable," said Bruce Compas, a psychologist at Vanderbilt University who just completed a major review of childhood coping strategies. Good coping skills can be taught and, once learned, can benefit a child for the rest of their lives, Compas said in a press release.

We reached out to experts to see what advice they'd have for parents who think their kids might be struggling with stress or anxiety. Here is what they had to say:

1. Be specific about what you've noticed about your child's stress level.

When a parent notices their kid is stressed or anxious, it can be tempting to jump to conclusions or get caught up in wondering "what if." "Don't go down the rabbit hole," says Debra Kissen, clinical psychologist and director at Light on Anxiety Treatment Center of Chicago.

Instead, parents should focus on the specific behaviors they've noticed. If your kid suddenly doesn't want to go to parties, for example, approach any potential conversation on that level, then build solutions around the one stressor.

2. Don't just reassure: problem-solve.

"It'll be OK" might seem like three magic words, but kindly reassurances aren't the same permanent fixes, says Jill Emanuele, senior director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. Instead, parents should talk with their kid and try to come up with a solution to whatever's bothering them.

"Help your child to acknowledge the specific worries with a statement like, 'I hear that you are worried about this. How can I help?'" Emanuele says.

Multiple experts, including Compas, echoed this sentiment. In general, it's better for kids to adapt or confront problems rather than avoid or repress their feelings.

3. Plan and practice!

"My one piece of advice: practice!" said Dawn Huebner, a psychologist who's written multiple books, with a new one ("Outsmarting Worry") coming out in October.

Don't avoid awkward conversations, says Huebner, and once you've come up with a potential solution, try it out. For example, if your kid is nervous about a new school, you could see if school administrators will let you take a tour before the school year begins. Then follow up in a few days to see how the plan worked.

4. Repeat the serenity prayer.

"Change the things you can, accept the things you can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference between them," Compas says.

There's a lot of good thinking in that old prayer. Not every problem or stressor is going to have an easy solution, and it can get frustrating to continually beat your head on a brick wall. Sometimes the change will need to come from within, whether that's adapting expectations or trying out a different outlook.

5. Don't ignore the bright side.

Tackling the problem and facing your fears is a good idea, but looking at positives can help too, says Amy Przeworski, an associate professor at Case Western Reserve University. School can mean new friends and new adventures. A little encouragement doesn't hurt, either.

"To remind my daughter of just how strong and brave she is, I often put a note in her lunch bag on the first few days of school to tell her that I love her, that I'm proud of her and that I can't wait to hear the amazing things that she has done at school," she says.

6. Try to stay calm and collected yourself.

Kids, especially little ones, can key in on what a parent is feeling. If you yourself are nervous or stressed, your anxiety might rub off on the child.

"What we know is that when my attachment figure, my mommy, my daddy, my grandma who raises me is calm, I feel safer and more sound and ready to learn," says Laura Martin, a mental health specialist at the Verner Center for Early Learning.

7. Remember that you're not alone.

It can feel overwhelming to see your kid struggling, but remember that you don't have to do this alone. There are many resources out there on sites like the Anxiety and Depression Association of America to help parents talk to their kids or find help. Mental health professionals can help too.

8. Finally, don't forget about happiness.

Mark Holder is a researcher at the University of British Columbia. He doesn't study stress or anxiety — his focus is happiness. He says this:

"My advice for children’s well-being, if I am only allowed one piece, is to support your children in nurturing their quality friendships," Holder says. "Whether this is encouraging visits with friends, joining a sports team or hiking club, or volunteering with others, activities that foster meaningful friendships are critical to children’s well-being."




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Watch the adorable moment this guy came out as gay to his 5-year-old brother.


His younger brother cozied up snugly at his side, Oliver Potter, a 20-year-old YouTuber based in the U.K., admits he was very nervous about what he was about to say.

Potter was about to tell his younger sibling, Alfie, that he's gay.

"I really didn't know how a 5-year-old would take it," he says of how he expected his brother to react.

"I really don’t know how to put this," Potter begins in the video above before settling on starting by asking Alfie how he thinks about love.

Then Potter asked the big question:

"So, how would it make you feel if I married a man?"

To Potter's great relief, Alfie wasn't just unfazed by the question's implications — he was excited.

GIF via Oliver Potter.

"I saw it in one movie," Alfie explained. "And in one movie, a man was in love with another man, and then everyone was saying, 'cool,' in that video — 'cool, cool, cool, cool.'"

GIF via Oliver Potter.

It just goes to show that homophobia isn't born, it's taught.

It's tough to dig up empirical data on the issue, but story after story after story from parents explaining same-sex relationships to their kids certainly seems to suggest children are less concerned with a person's sexual orientation than adults are.

Just like Alfie seems to be.

GIF via Oliver Potter.

Potter's video was edited for length and clarity in the distinctive jump-cut style preferred by many YouTube vloggers, although there were a few technical hiccups that came his way (the video had to be cut right after Potter's coming-out question because his camera's battery died, he says). But he assures that his brother's acceptance — including Alfie's proclamation that "love is love" — was genuine.

"Alfie has been around adults ... people much older than him since the day he was born, as he is my step-mum's and my dad's child," Potter says. "So for me it's no surprise that he would come out with something like this."

Since being published on July 25, Potter's video has amassed an impressive 400,000 views (and counting).

Alfie's kindness (and general adorable-ness) has tugged at the heartstrings of people from around the world.

Photo courtesy of Oliver Potter.

The comment section on the video is filled with praises and adoration from viewers near and far. "I am overwhelmed by all the positive feedback," Potter says. "I really wasn't expecting such a response like this, never experienced a feeling quite like it. All I can say [is] thank you, and of course, love really is love."




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

The best part of last night's health care debacle was this senator's heartfelt speech.


"I am probably the only senator here who was not born in a hospital," Sen. Mazie Hirono said.

Hirono (D-Hawaii) was on the floor of the Senate last night to vote against the last-minute "skinny repeal" of the Affordable Care Act. While there, she gave an impassioned speech about the importance of health care.

She started with her own history, occasionally pausing to collect herself as she recounted growing up in rural Japan, losing her sister to pneumonia at a very young age, and watching her working-class mom struggle with illness in Hawaii. You can hear the emotion in her voice.

Her family's story is moving, but Hirono's most important point came when she opened up about how people reacted to her own health crisis.

"I am fighting kidney cancer," Hirono said. She announced her diagnosis in May and, like Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who cast one of the deciding votes against repeal, returned from recovering post-surgery to be part of the historic vote last night.

"When I was diagnosed with kidney cancer and facing my first surgery, I heard from so many of my colleagues — including so many of my colleagues on the other side of the aisle — who wrote me wonderful notes, sharing with me their own experience," Hirono said.

But Hirono wondered where all that compassion went last night. The Congressional Budget Office estimated that the "skinny repeal" plan would have booted 16 million people off their insurance within 10 years and increased premiums by 20%.

"You showed me your care. You showed me your compassion. Where is that tonight?" she said, her fist pounding the lectern.

GIF via Sen. Mazie Hirono/Twitter.

It's easy to be compassionate when it's someone you know — a friend, family, a coworker. It's a different matter when it's someone you don't. In this case, "someone" means millions of Americans.

The state of health care in this country leaves a lot to be desired. But as Hirono pointed out, health care reform needs to be built in the light of day, not rushed through in the dark hours of the night.

Though the "skinny repeal" plan failed last night, there are likely to be more debates and votes in the future. At no point should we forget that our first priority should be compassion.

"We are better than that," said Hirono.

Watch her full impassioned speech below:




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

The beautiful way this daughter showed her single mom gratitude for all she's done.


Olivia Jones was just 3 years old when she lost her father, which broke her mom's heart on many levels.  

"One of the greatest regrets I have is that she didn’t get to use the word 'dad'," Olivia's mom, Janice, says.  

All photos via Minute Maid.

Suddenly, Janice was the sole breadwinner, but she lacked the degree to land a career that would allow her to maintain the status quo at home. So, after taking time to grieve, Janice went back to school.

"I needed to have a career with a future," Janice explains.

Going back to school while continuing to work and take care of Olivia was far from easy, but Janice refused to give up.

Eventually, she managed to provide for her family the way she wanted to but at a cost. Keeping up with school and work as a single parent meant she had to sacrifice time with Olivia.

Little did she know just how much Olivia recognized and appreciated all her mom's efforts.

“She was doing it to make a better life for us, which is incredible," Olivia says.

Check out the Joneses' full story:

Olivia wanted to do something special for her mom, so she started putting together a carefully curated care package.

Olivia Jones.

Her mom had been sending her care packages ever since she started college, so Olivia felt it was about time she return the favor.

She filled it with lots of fun little trinkets, cards that her mom sent during her first year at school, and family photos. She also wrote her a note thanking her for going above and beyond to give Olivia a steady life.

"Dear mom, I am so thankful to have you in my life. I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been while being a single mom. You played the role of both mom and dad. You were struggling to do so, but you never ever let me know or made me feel guilty. You allowed me to be a child. I don’t know who or where I would be without you. I love you, and just know that you are the best mom anyone could hope for. Love, Olivia."

If that wasn't enough to get her mom crying, Olivia's reverse care package also came with a special, unexpected surprise.

Olivia hugging her mom.

Some things don't fit in boxes.

Janice and Olivia's story reminds us that single parents are amazing, and it's important to celebrate them once in a while.

They may not always get it right, and disappointments along the way are inevitable, but parents like Janice prove they'll go the distance to keep their kids healthy, happy, and safe. In that way, they're like superheroes, and Olivia certainly sees the proverbial cape her mom wears.

Hopefully the beautiful way she showed her appreciation for her mom will inspire other kids of single parents to do the same.

"I don’t know who or where I would be without you. I love you, and just know that you are the best mom anyone could hope for."




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

They're tiny. They just helped save Obamacare. And they're not done yet.


6-year-old Timmy Morrison knows where to get the best frozen yogurt and popcorn on Capitol Hill.

He's had time to do his research. For the past six weeks, he's been walking the halls of the Capitol and Senate office buildings with his mom, trying to convince his elected officials not to let hundreds of kids like him die.

Timmy Morrison, left, on a lobbying trip to D.C. Photo via Little Lobbyists/Facebook.

Timmy is one of around a dozen "Little Lobbyists" — kids with chronic, lifelong medical conditions who, along with their families, visited the offices of all 100 Senators, dropping off notes and asking for meetings. And they, ultimately, helped kill the Senate's latest push to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

In the days leading up to the vote, hundreds of activists, organizers, and ordinary citizens descended on D.C. for a final push against the bill.

The effort led by groups like ADAPT, a disability rights community that staged a series of sit-ins on Capitol Hill and at lawmakers' offices, grassroots Indivisible groups as well as traditional liberal political organs, including MoveOn and Our Revolution.

The "Little Lobbyists" were organized by Timmy's mother Michelle Morrison and friend Elena Hung, first-time activists like so many others, who felt like their children's voices were missing from the health care debate.

"It really is just a handful of families trying to figure out what we can do," Morrison says.

Morrison, a linguistics professor at the University of Maryland, explains that she originally barely noticed her health plan's lifetime million-dollar maximum.

Six days after the Affordable Care Act's ban on denying coverage of pre-existing conditions on children's policies kicked in on Sept. 23, 2010, Timmy was born with Opitz G/BBB syndrome, a rare respiratory disorder that requires him to breathe through a tracheostomy and eat through a feeding tube.

By Christmas, the cost of Timmy's treatment had already surged past $1 million. By the time he was six months old, it had climbed to well over $2 million. The Morrisons still pay thousands of dollars in medical bills annually, but thanks to the ACA, bankruptcy appeared to be off the table.  

Timmy, undergoing treatment at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Photo via Little Lobbyists/Twitter.

With the law in jeopardy, that threat once again became real.

"It feels a lot to us like someone is rolling the dice with our children’s lives and not taking the time to figure out what the impacts are," Morrison explains.

With the right care, which Timmy currently gets at three hospitals in three states, the little lobbyist leads a normal kindergarten life.

In between chatting about robots and pirates, Timmy plays on a local soccer team, which, when treated properly, his condition allows.

Timmy Morrison. Photo via Little Lobbyists/Twitter.

Even with Morrison's employer-sponsored plan, Timmy depends on Medicaid waivers for parts of his care. Several versions of the bill threatened deep cuts to Medicaid.

Hence the constant travel to D.C.

"I don’t think he realizes that it’s unusual for a kindergartner to be running around shaking hands with senators," Morrison says.

For Timmy, the trips to the Capitol quickly became routine. Occasionally, he rode in a stroller, since too much walking can aggravate his breathing. The parents brought crayons and special snacks for all the kids.

Between meetings, Timmy spent time coloring in the outlines of the states whose senators' offices he's visited. Some of the older kids, 11 and 9, eventually started engaging staff members themselves, encouraging the younger ones to join in and speak up, Michelle says.

Meanwhile, for the adults, the joyful moments were tempered by frequent dead ends and creeping frustration.

The bipartisan group knew what it wanted any new bill to preserve: protections for pre-existing conditions, a ban on lifetime limits, and most critically, Medicaid funding.

The ever-shifting language of the proposed health care bill, however, often made it difficult to determine what arguments to present in meetings. "It’s like trying to catch soap," Morrison says.

Meeting with Senator Tammy Duckworth. Photo via Little Lobbyists/Twitter.

The Senate's recent successful "motion to proceed" vote left the group "heartbroken, terrified, furious."

"We must now watch as the Senate takes as little time as it possibly can to decide the fate of our children," Morrison and Hung wrote in a blog post published the day of the vote.

The parents and children pressed on. The group spent the next few days engaged in a final push, thanking GOP Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski for their no votes and lobbying hard for more.

On the afternoon of the final vote, they finally secured their first in-person meeting with a Republican senator — Jeff Flake of Arizona.

After tucking Timmy in on the night of Thursday, July 28, Morrison drove alone to D.C. to join Hung at what the pair expected would be a vigil.

29 minutes after 1 a.m., it turned into a celebration of relief, when John McCain cast the decisive "no" vote on the bill.

The crowd outside the Capitol burst into cheers and tears of joy.

The surprise victory left Morrison feeling "pretty fabulous. And overwhelmed."

Their efforts had suffered dozens of setbacks in recent months. The House bill that was killed, then resurrected from the dead. The Senate bill, which was destroyed and reformed so many times. The crushing affirmative "motion to proceed" just two days earlier.

This, after all that, was sweet.

As Morrison and Hung wrote on their blog, dusting off and continuing to fight against the odds is nothing new for families like theirs.

"Our children have taught us well."




Posted by at No comments:
Labels:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)