Friday, September 30, 2016

A dad shares his emotional story of dealing with miscarriage.

'How would we bounce back from this? This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Not for us.'

<br>

"Having children is going to be great! Nine months will fly by, and we’ll be parents. How exciting!" This was our thinking before it happened.

It was early August, and my wife and I were trying for our first child. We thought of all the possibilities of names, of the different transformations we could do to our guest room, and of the extra joy that would be present within our lives and in our family’s lives.

Photo via iStock.

We figured that if she ended up getting pregnant, it would work out perfectly: She could go on maternity leave during her summer break (she’s a teacher). So we checked ovulation charts and tried to time everything perfectly. We changed our diets and drank minimal alcohol and caffeine; we wanted everything to be just right.

At first, everything felt perfect.

We started taking the cheap pregnancy tests. Once they started reading positive, we sprung for the higher-end ones just to be sure. Everything was working out just as we had planned: We’d have our summer baby, and my wife would have plenty of time to stay home with the kid.

We hadn’t planned on telling anyone until the first trimester was out of the way since the most risk typically occurs during this time period.

Then we went over to some friends’ house to watch football a couple weeks prior to our "planning to tell" date. They started asking questions once they saw that my wife wasn’t drinking. (She doesn’t drink much anyway, but for her to not even have a glass of wine was odd to them.) So much to our chagrin, we ended up telling them. Then we went home.

We were getting ready for bed that night when it happened.

My wife yelled my name from the bathroom. She came out in tears. Something was wrong. There was blood. We googled it. It might not be that big of a deal, the internet said, but we called the doctor, and she said to come in the next day.

I remember that next day like it was yesterday. I had a job interview for a job that I was really excited about at the exact same time as her appointment. I bombed the interview because I was so nervous. My wife went in, and they took her blood. They did an ultrasound. The baby had a heartbeat, they said, but it was very faint. She would have to get her blood taken again a few days later to compare.

A few days came and went. One of our good friends from out of state was visiting, and we were planning on going to dinner with him. We told him ahead of time about the situation, so he knew that we might receive good or bad news sometime during dinner.

We were nearly finished with dinner when the call came. Things were not good.

They told my wife that it wasn’t a viable pregnancy and there was nothing they could do. She could take pills or let her body do the work. We said goodbye to our friend and went home.

The next week was hard. I remember holding my wife, crying with her. Our dreams, our plans — they were shattered.

Photo via iStock.

How would we bounce back from this? This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Not for us. I was doing my best to be strong for both of us. This was the worst thing I’d ever been through. I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling. It was hard to eat. Hard to sleep. Hard to function, let alone be strong enough and assure my wife that everything would be OK.  

During the next couple weeks, friends, family, and our church pastors came and prayed with us and sat with us.

People tried to offer us encouragement. Things like "everything happens for a reason" or "it doesn’t make sense now, but it will." None of these things were helpful (other than the people being present with us).

Eventually, we learned how common miscarriages are and how many people experience it throughout their lives. The numbers (10% to 25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage) were very eye-opening.

No one talks about miscarriage. It’s taboo, but it shouldn’t be. As human beings, we need to talk about these things more openly and grieve together and grow together. Our struggles and our triumphs are what bring us together.

It’s been nearly two years since my wife and I experienced the tragedy of miscarriage.

Reece, our son, is now 11 months old. It’s crazy to think that if we wouldn’t have been through what we had, he wouldn’t be here with us. He is our joy and sunshine every day, but we still mourn the loss of our first child.

But now, I often wonder what I can do to help other people, especially men whose partners are going through this same thing.

Photo via iStock.

As men, we’re often so sure we should be strong that we don’t show emotion. But I will share what I learned in that moment when we got the news: It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to let someone else pick you up.

It’s OK — and helpful — for all of us to be vulnerable. It’s OK to grieve and to mourn when life feels too heavy to bear. We will all become stronger together, and apart, if we let ourselves feel.

<br>

How to talk to your mixed-race kids about race.

<br>

​​​​This story was originally published on The Mash-Up Americans.

Kids are back in school, and that means the season of awkward questions is upon our Mash-Up families.

We may be accustomed to snotty questions like “Where are you from?” and “What are you?” but as parents, how do we best prepare our kids for the same?

How do we have the awkward conversation about race and ethnicity? What do we tell our kid when they say to us that so-and-so said they were only half?

Well, we call in the experts. Sonia Smith-Kang, a black-Mexican-American Mash-Up Mom, multiracial advocate, and co-founder of Mixed Heritage Day at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, shares her tips for helping Mash-Up kids navigate the weirdness of school.

Pro tip: You never need to pick just one.

I am the proud Mash-Up of military parents: a Mexican mama and black dad. I was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Hawaii, then eventually moved to California.

During the height of the Valley Girl '80s, in a school of blue eyes, feathered blond hair a la Farrah Fawcett, OP shorts, Vans, and Ooh La La Sasson, I was the curly (read frizzy) haired, brown-eyed, Jordache knock-off Mash-Up tween who didn’t fit in among other teenagers who had no idea what to make of me. Let’s just say “Blaxican” was not a popular term back then.

My own family has gotten even mashier. I married a Korean man, and my black-Mexican-Korean-American kids are now in high school and middle school.

The Smith-Kang family/Sonia Smith-Kang.

I’ve never wanted my kids to feel like I did, so we have what I call The Mash-Up Talk. It’s when we talk about all the awkward questions that other kids (and grown-ups!) ask us about who and what we are.

As a mixed-race family, we know these questions will come up. It’s just a matter of when. For us, this talk falls into the birds and the bees and the heavy "driving while brown" category. It’s part and parcel of our life.

My biggest piece of advice: Kids may not always come to you when uncomfortable situations come up at school. So be proactive and compassionate about the issues that may arise. Here are the most common questions that my kids have and have faced from others, and how I respond.

When kids ask them "What are you?"

My middle-schooler said she made it halfway through the first day of school before IT happened. By now, she’s a seasoned pro at responding to this question. Her answer: I am my mom, who is Mexican and black, and my appa, or dad, who is Korean. Ultimately, I want her to know that it’s OK however she identifies, and she only has to identify herself if she wants to.

Questions like these are a good opportunity to introduce your kid to Dr. Maria Root’s “Bill of Rights for People of Mixed Heritage.” My favorites:

I have the right...

...to create a vocabulary to communicate about being multiracial or multiethnic.

...to change my identity over my lifetime — and more than once.

When kids ask them "Where are you really from?"

Reassure your kid that they are from here, and that people who ask that question are just trying figure that out because being from here means you can look many different ways and speak many different languages.

Also, make sure your kids know that if they feel uncomfortable at any time, they can say “I don’t want to talk about this any more” and move on. They don’t owe people an explanation, and they’re not responsible for making other kids comfortable with them.

Image via iStock.

When kids ask them "What are you more of?"

As a grown woman, I still get this question, so it’s not surprising that my mixed kids do, as well. My daughter says questions like that make her feel like she has to choose between her appa and me. I remind her that she never needs to choose. Tell your kids that you don’t have to choose one over the other.

When your kids ask you "What box do I check?"

We want our Mini Mash-Ups to know and feel that they are whole. Unfortunately, so many of our official forms and documentation require you to “pick one.”

First, I tell her nobody will upset if she chooses one identity over the other if she has to. Second, I tell her what I’ve done — choosing “other,” checking one box then writing in more identities in the margins, or not filling out anything at all. Finally, I tell her that someday soon, the papers will eventually catch up to our family!

When your kids ask you "What do I do when someone makes a racist joke?"

This is a peculiarly Mash-Up challenge, for kids and adults alike: Being Mash-Up and being mixed-race often means that somebody is making off-color (ahem) jokes about your culture, and they may not even know it. You’re an outsider on the inside. Then, when you call someone out on an offensive joke made at the expense of one of your tribes, they turn around and say something along the lines of “but you’re not even full (aka 'real') Asian/black/Jewish/Latino/fill in the blank.”

I remind my kids that they are whole people and that it is OK to be wholly offended by a mean joke. Also, racist jokes are hurtful to everybody, not just to the person or culture that is being made fun of. It takes a lot of strength to stand ​up to a bully, and they are being strong and kind for doing it. A lot of adults could learn from them!

<br>

This post was originally published on The Mash-Up Americans. The Mash-Up Americans explores culture, race, and identity in America and what makes us who we are. Team Mash-Up will ask every complicated, awkward question and will do it with love.

If you like this, you might also like:

"Facing My Childhood Bully"
"A Tribe Called Mash-Up"
"When Half Leaves You Hungry"
"7 Mash-Up Parenting Favorites: Media Edition"

Also, you should check out The Mash-Up Americans website, subscribe to their podcast, and sign up for their weekly newsletter.

Sign up here: Get smart and be delighted as you get to know America!



Watch Lin-Manuel Miranda's super catchy bilingual rap about voting.

<br>

There's never been a Broadway musical with a bigger impact than "Hamilton" — at least in recent memory.

And there has never been a more crucial presidential election in recent memory either. Marry the two and you get this powerful parody from the show's creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Lin-Manuel Miranda taking a bow after one of his performances. Image by Nicholas Hunt/Getty images.

This summer, Miranda wrote and directed three videos to get out the vote. This is the first one he's released. It's a fun, hopeful, and oh-so-danceable rap inviting all of us to vote in November.

Check out the 30-second music video, featuring Miranda, posted on actor Javier Muñoz's Twitter page.

It's in Spanish, so here's the English translation:

"Come, my people, come, my people
It's time to elect a new president
Vote, my people, vote, my people
Raise your hand and say, "present!"
Come, my people, come, my people,
Don't let this country not count us all
Come, my people, come, my people
The 8th of November is at the forefront
Vote, vote — America!
The time is now
Decide who exists"

At this point, Miranda's popularity is a massive force to be reckoned with.

We've seen him hanging out everywhere from Broadway to the White House, and he's even hosting "Saturday Night Live" this October. So, yeah, he's kind of a big deal.

And he's also quickly gaining a reputation for using his high-profile status to bring awareness to the social issues that really matter, like voting. On Sept. 28, 2016, four "Hamilton" cast members even sat outside the Richard Rodgers Theatre to register people to vote.

Miranda's video is aimed in particular at the 27.3 million Latinos who are eligible to vote in the next election.

Out of those 27.3 million Latinos eligible to vote, 44% (almost half) are millennials. And because "Hamilton" is to millennials what "Rent" and "Les Miserables" were to theatre-goers of previous generations, Miranda's power is far-reaching.

And as for Miranda's personal views on this election? He's backing Hillary Clinton — even signing on for a star-studded Broadway event in her honor on Oct. 17, 2016. But regardless of who you're voting for, Miranda is determined, telling TIME magazine “Just get out and vote."

Let's listen to the man, shall we?

<br>

How to teach kids to love and respect their bodies, in 8 steps.

How you love and respect your body is how your children will learn to love and respect their bodies.

<br>

“Mommy,” my 6-year-old daughter said, “you look beautiful!”

We were in Kauai, Hawaii, and I was in a store trying on a beautiful, sensual bikini with my 42-year-old post-baby body.

I never had worn or owned a bikini — not even when I played soccer and my body was strong and lean. And my body has changed a lot since then. These breasts have offered my children milk for a total of four years. My hips have balanced children on them while cooking dinner, coaching soccer, and helping another child down off the monkey bars at the playground.

Photo via iStock.

I think there comes a time in many women’s lives when we decide we will embrace and embody the sensual, beautiful women we are instead of trying to change ourselves. There I was in the changing room, standing before my children and husband in a Hawaiian bikini. I felt beautiful. A bit self-conscious at first, but beautiful. My family saw my beauty too.

For two weeks on the beaches of Kauai, I wore that bikini. Rubbing my round and flabby stomach now exposed in a bikini, my children told me how they loved my belly. “Yes,” I would say, “I love my belly too.” And I meant it.

And, no, you don’t have to wear a bikini to feel beautiful.

This is about our bodies as moms changing with childbirth and aging with every passing year and about growing in our love and respect for our bodies. This is about how we can model to our children love and respect for their bodies through our deepening regard for our own bodies.

Over the years of being a mom and somatic (body-centered) psychotherapist, I have heard a lot of advice on how to teach our children to respect their bodies. Clients who are parents ask me how to teach their children how to love and respect their bodies so their children don’t have the same hateful relationships they have with their own bodies.

They want to know how to raise children who are confident, love their bodies, and respect other people’s bodies. They want to prevent their children from experiencing trauma and feeling ashamed of their bodies.

If we truly want to support our children in loving and respecting their bodies, I know this:

How you love and respect your body is how your children will learn to love and respect their bodies.

And this:

How you love and respect their bodies is how they will learn to love and respect their bodies.

Photo via iStock.

How do we get there?

Here are eight mindful and compassionate ways to be a parent who models to your children how to regard and love their bodies:

1. Treat yourself with compassion.

One of the surest ways to instill in our children a healthy relationship with their whole self is to start showing ourselves compassion. When someone, including ourselves, is suffering, we are naturally prompted to respond to extend compassion. But often, through experiences of trauma and shame, we have learned to override this innate sense of responding with compassion. Thankfully, we can learn to cultivate compassion again.

When I am having a hard time, my children often will see me doing this: I pause. I put my hand on my heart. And I say to myself (and often so they can hear, too, and learn to do the same), “Wow, I’m having a hard time right now. It’s OK, Sweet Love.” (Yes, I call myself “Sweet Love,” the same words I use with my children). Having compassion for ourselves in everyday life and modeling compassion to our children can be as simple as that.

2. Heal the harshness by “practicing gentleness.”

In a harsh world, gentleness is the antidote. Like compassion, gentleness has transformative power. Gentleness is both soft and strong. By bringing gentleness into situations where we are often prompted to become harsh and controlling, we support connection.

How? Trying asking yourself: “What would ‘practicing gentleness’ with my body look like in my life? What would it look like in my children’s lives?” Is it to go at a slower pace in the day? Is it to use a softer, more accepting tone of voice? Is it a gentle hand on your child’s shoulders when he or she is feeling anxious?

3. Bring “soften” into your everyday vocabulary.

A few years ago, I made “soften” my word for the year because I knew I was being hard on myself. When I looked at my post-baby body — even several years after having children — I would often get dressed, look in the mirror, and say something harsh under my breath. But as I brought the word “soften” into my everyday life, I began to embody this word a little bit more every day. Now, it is commonplace in my own head and in our family.

4. Heal the hurry.

I get it. We have a million things on our plate. We live in a culture that’s addicted to hurry.

Photo via iStock.

But we show this to our kids early, and hurry shows itself in our bodies. So if you can, try to notice your own addiction to hurry. Notice how your body may be addicted to the adrenaline rush of “running late” and hurrying throughout the day. Start to treat your body with respect by saying to yourself (and your children), “It’s OK to slow down.”

5. Show your children how to rest.

Related to our addiction to hurry, we often don’t pause to rest in our day, but our bodies and brains need pauses. Teaching our children to treat their bodies with love and regard involves learning how to rest.

Build rest into your and your child’s day. Look up at the sky as you and your children stand at the bus stop. Lie down for a moment after getting home from school and work. Say to your children, “Let’s rest for a bit.”

6. Do nothing else while you eat.

Mindless eating and busy schedules can create unhealthy habits around food. Because we eat several times a day, building in mindful rituals of pausing while eating supports healthy digestion, regulates nervous systems, and develops a healthy relationship to food and a deep regard for our bodies.

When you eat, do nothing else. Model to your children how to pause and “just eat” when it's time for a meal or snack. Put down the devices and try just eating your food and enjoying each other’s company. Even if it’s for a few moments, such mindful eating supports a healthy regard and love for one’s body.

7. Touch your children kindly.

Walking into my children’s school each morning, I see the tenderness between parents and their children. I see these mindful parents pausing in the hustle and bustle of their morning for a moment of tender connection with their children.

Photo via iStock.

When we are frustrated or angry, it gets harder to touch our children kindly. Yet these moments matter in sending the message to our children that their bodies are to be regarded. When we are frustrated, the greatest practice is to pause and get grounded. We are more likely to respond with kindness instead of react with harshness. When our children’s bodies are treated with kindness, they learn they are worthy of being regarded.

8. Look at your children with regard.

I get it. Many families are just trying to get to the bus stop on time. And after school, we are hustling home to get dinner made before evening activities.

But a few years ago, I decided that no matter how rushed we felt in the morning and in the afternoon returning from school, I would pause and really look at my children. The expression on my face would say, “I am so happy to see you! I love you!” I try to do this every day, even for just a few moments in the morning and afternoon. And it changes things.

These mindful and compassionate practices can be woven into our everyday lives.

When our children see us loving and regarding our bodies, they will begin to treat their bodies the same way. When we treat our children’s bodies with respect, our children will begin to see themselves — and their bodies — as worthy of deep regard and respect. And when our children love and respect their bodies, they are more likely to love and respect the bodies of others.

It'll go a long way in creating a more compassionate world.

<br>

70 members of Star Trek's cast and crew just wrote an epic anti-Trump letter.

<br>

Donald Trump's controversial candidacy for president is meeting resistance in unusual places.

People and organizations around the world have been speaking out publicly against him — including the Arizona Republic, which broke a 126-year tradition of endorsing Republicans, and USA Today, which broke a 34-year tradition of not endorsing any candidate.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Trump is openly and unapologetically misogynistic, racist, and intolerant. He wants to build a physical wall on the Mexican border, he wants to deport Muslims, he's joked about the assassination of Hillary Clinton, and he once made fun of a disabled reporter. And that's just a list of his greatest hits.

The latest group to speak out against The Donald is a coalition of over 70 writers, actors, directors, and producers spanning across 50 years of the "Star Trek" franchise.

In an unapologetically frank open letter, published to a Facebook page called Trek Against Trump, "Star Trek" actors, directors, producers, and crew members expressed their political stance that Donald Trump represents the opposite of everything "Star Trek" stands for and should not be allowed anywhere near the presidency.

Star Trek has always offered a positive vision of the future, a vision of hope and optimism, and most importantly, a...

Posted by Trek Against Trump on Thursday, September 29, 2016

"We cannot turn our backs on what is happening in the upcoming election," the letter reads. "Never has there been a presidential candidate who stands in such complete opposition to the ideals of the Star Trek universe as Donald Trump."

The letter was signed by J.J. Abrams (director of the 2009 "Star Trek" reboot), Scott Bakula (the captain from "Star Trek: Enterprise"), Eugene "Rod" Roddenberry (son of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry), many members of the late Leonard Nimoy's family, and many more.

Above all, Trek Against Trump urges people to get out and vote this November — and to make sure your vote actually counts:

"The resolution of conflicts on Star Trek was never easy. Don’t remain aloof –vote! We have heard people say they will vote Green or Libertarian or not at all because the two major candidates are equally flawed. That is both illogical and inaccurate. Either Secretary Clinton or Mr. Trump will occupy the White House. One is an amateur with a contemptuous ignorance of national laws and international realities, while the other has devoted her life to public service, and has deep and valuable experience with the proven ability to work with Congress to pass desperately needed legislation. If, as some say, the government is broken, a protest vote will not fix it."

The letter includes a link to Rock the Vote, a nonprofit organization that helps people register.

While "Star Trek" hasn't always been overtly political, it's a franchise that was built on a philosophy of humanism, inclusiveness, equality, and an idealistic vision for a peaceful future.

Trek Against Trump is not wrong about Trump's political views being in direct opposition to the values of "Star Trek."

GIF via "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan."

Whether on TV or movie screens, "Star Trek" has always valued diversity, multiculturalism and tolerance — the opposite of walls, deportations, and hateful rhetoric. This is a show that featured the first interracial kiss on television and counted Martin Luther King Jr. among its fans. In fact, the entire basis of Vulcan philosophy is "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations" (abbreviated as IDIC).

"Star Trek" takes place in a society without greed or the idolization of wealth.  

"We’ve overcome hunger and greed, and we’re no longer interested in the accumulation of things," Capt. Jean Luc Picard says on "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

In contrast, Donald Trump, announced his candidacy for president in a rambling speech that included the phrase, "I'm really rich!"

GIF via "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

When you're standing in the way of the values of "Star Trek," you're probably standing in the wrong place.  

The fact is, "Star Trek" has spent 50 years painting a beautiful vision of a future without hate, greed, or intolerance.

As Bryan Fuller, who is spearheading the new "Star Trek" TV series "Star Trek: Discovery," tweeted with his endorsement of #TrekNotTrump, if we ever want to live in the future that "Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry envisioned, electing Donald Trump is not the way to get us there.

<br>

A contest was held to find this year's funniest animal photo. Here are 15 of the best.

<br>

A guinea pig has to get somewhere fast. It would also like to eat some nuts, if possible. Finally, it comes up with a genius solution.

Photo by Julian Radd/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2015.

That solution, miraculously caught on camera by photographer Julian Radd, was the winner of the 2015 Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards.

The awards are the brainchild of Tanzania-based photographers Tom Sullam and Paul Joynson-Hicks, who launched the contest last year.

The pair, along with a panel of judges, run the competition in partnership with Born Free, a global animal rights group supporting anti-poaching efforts in Tanzania and around the world.

"Instead of drawing attention to wildlife through showing foxes being ripped to pieces by hounds, or a bird that’s being slashed open and it’s filled with litter, we just thought, ‘Let’s celebrate the wildlife and raise awareness that way,'" Sullam said.

This year, the group received nearly 3,000 entries. While high-quality photos can be more competitive, the contest ultimately only has one inviolable rule: Be funny.

"The humor scoring outweighs the photographic scoring," Sullam said.

Here are 15 of this year's best entries:

1. This cheetah cracking up.

Photo by Dutton Robert/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

2. These one-and-a-half owls.

Photo by Barb D'Arpino/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards.

3. This baby elephant taking a moment to collect itself on the side of the road.

Photo by Markus Pavlowsky/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

4. This field mouse on stilts.

Photo by Michael Erwin/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

5. These monkeys not fighting the feeling.

Photo by Sushil Chauhan/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

6. These puffins going diagonal.

Photo by Mary Swaby/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

7. This eagle, definitely not trying to figure out how to eat you. Not at all.

Photo by Will Saunders/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

8. This squirrel, slowly realizing it's in over its head.

Photo by Barb D'Arpino/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

9. This seal just saying "Hey."

Photo by Adam White/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

10. This kangaroo enjoying the comforts of modern society.

Photo by Rosario Losano/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

11. This fluffy monkey, preparing a vicious sneak attack.

Photo by Nicolas de Vaulx/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

12. This odd couple, a chipmunk and a toad, experiencing a deep sensory connection.

Photo by Isabelle Marozzo/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

13. These squirrels squirreling it real hard.

Photo by Yvette Richard/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

14. This bee with a fancier jewelry collection than you.

Photo by Murray Mcculloch/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

15. And lastly, this snow owl, finding its bliss.

Photo by Edward Kopeschny/Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2016.

Sullam says he hopes the photos, while silly, reinforce the importance of protecting these animals for those who see them.

"It’s going to get the same impact," he said. "It’s just not negative."

The winners will be announced Nov. 9, 2016.

<br>

All photos used with permission.



For these NFL stars, Super Bowls are great, but parenting is tops.

The last war in the entire Western Hemisphere has just ended.

<br>

As of September 2016, there are no more wars in the Western Hemisphere.

Yep, that's what I said. Read it again if you need to. The entire Western Hemisphere — also known as 50% of the planet — does not have a single war zone.

That's the Western Hemisphere on the left. The whole left. Photo via CIA World Factbook/Wikimedia Commons.

So that's cool.

When the president of Colombia and rebel leader Rodrigo Londoño Echeverri brokered a peace deal on Sept. 26, 2016, the only war happening west of the prime meridian came to an end.

For decades, Colombia has been engaged in a civil war. Not one war exactly — but a rotating series of insurgency groups and guerrilla movements that have taken arms against the Colombian government for over 50 years.

The last of those groups, called the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, signed a peace deal with President Juan Manuel Santos on Monday, Sept. 26, 2016. The agreement will need to be ratified by voters, but the vote is expected to pass easily.

Both men wore white and shook hands as the Colombian crowd chanted, "Long live Colombia! Long live peace!"

Photo by Guillermo Legaria/AFP/Getty Images.

A simple handshake ushered in a new wave of peace for Colombia, and an unprecedented era of peace for (one half of) the world.

No matter how cynical you are, half the planet being war-free is a pretty inspiring milestone — though, of course, there are some caveats.

For one, lack of officially declared wars doesn't mean complete peace. Colombia and Mexico still suffer from drug violence.  In fact, after a three-year decline, homicides tied to organized crime in Mexico have been sharply increasing.

There's ongoing political unrest in Venezuela that, just recently, sent 30,000 protestors marching into the streets.

Government protestors running from the Venezuelan National Guard in 2014. Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

Here in America, we've officially ended our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq but still have a military presence in the Middle East. In fact it was just announced that more U.S. troops would be headed to Iraq in the continuing fight to stop ISIS. We've also faced too many mass shootings, police killings, and domestic acts of terror recently to even keep track of.

Photo by Laura Buckman/AFP/Getty Images.

The world is far from being free of problems and conflict, but things don't change overnight. It took decades for Colombia to find a peaceful solution to their conflict, and it was no small accomplishment when they did.

News like this is a reminder that the problems of the world can come to peaceful resolutions — that step by step, handshake by handshake ... we can make the world better and safer.

It's just in time too. Because you've probably been hearing a lot of this lately...

Whether the culprit is ISIS, guns, terror, hackers, nuclear China, or "the cyber," it sure can seem like the whole world is one small step away from becoming a dangerous back alley filled with machete-wielding murderers who want to steal our jobs.

In reality, things are looking up: global poverty is down, world hunger is down, and life expectancy is up.

Whatever metric you want to use, things are looking pretty good for humanity.

Achieving "world peace" has always seemed like a bumper sticker slogan or a pipe dream, but ... that's always been kind of the point.

Photo by Abid Katib/Getty Images.

Maybe we'll achieve that seemingly impossible goal one day, maybe we won't. I don't know if, in our lifetimes, we'll wake up one morning and find out that every war in the world has ended.

All I know is we woke up one morning in September 2016, and we were already halfway there.

<br>

These 12 graphics teach us the importance of prioritizing our friends and family.

<br>

This post was originally published on Wait But Why.

In a previous post, we laid out the human lifespan visually.

By years:

By months:

And by weeks:

While working on that post, I also made a days chart, but it seemed a bit much, so I left it out. But fuck it.

The days chart blows my mind as much as the weeks chart. Each of those dots is only a single Tuesday or Friday or Sunday, but even a lucky person who lives to 90 will have no problem fitting every day in their life on one sheet of paper.

But since doing the Life in Weeks post, I’ve been thinking about something else.

Instead of measuring your life in units of time, you can measure it in activities or events. To use myself as an example:

I’m 34, so let’s be super optimistic and say I’ll be hanging around drawing stick figures till I’m 90. If so, I have a little under 60 winters left:

And maybe around 60 Super Bowls:

The ocean is freezing, and putting my body into it is a bad life experience, so I tend to limit myself to around one ocean swim a year. So as weird as it seems, I might only go in the ocean 60 more times:

Not counting Wait But Why research, I read about five books a year, so even though it feels like I’ll read an endless number of books in the future, I actually have to choose only 300 of all the books out there to read and accept that I’ll sign off for eternity without knowing what goes on in all the rest.

Growing up in Boston, I went to Red Sox games all the time, but if I never move back there, I’ll probably continue at my current rate of going to a Sox game about once every three years — meaning this little row of 20 represents my remaining Fenway visits:

There have been eight U.S. presidential elections during my lifetime and about 15 to go. I’ve seen five presidents in office, and if that rate continues, I’ll see about nine more.

I probably eat pizza about once a month, so I’ve got about 700 more chances to eat pizza. I have an even brighter future with dumplings. I have Chinese food about twice a month, and I tend to make sure six dumplings occurs each time, so I have a fuckton of dumplings to look forward to:

But these things aren’t what I’ve been thinking about. Most of the things I just mentioned happen with a similar frequency during each year of my life, which spreads them out somewhat evenly through time. If I’m around a third of my way through life, I’m also about a third of my way through experiencing the activity or event.

What I’ve been thinking about is a really important part of life that, unlike all of these examples, isn’t spread out evenly through time—something whose ratio of already done and still to come doesn’t at all align with how far I am through life: relationships.

I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood.

Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super-optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the 10 days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with Mom and Dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years.

When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents — assuming I’m as lucky as can be — this becomes starkly clear:

It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.

It’s a similar story with my two sisters. After living in a house with them for 10 and 13 years respectively, I now live across the country from both of them and spend maybe 15 days with each of them a year. Hopefully, that leaves us with about 15% of our total hangout time left.

The same often goes for old friends. In high school, I sat around playing hearts with the same four guys about five days a week. In four years, we probably racked up 700 group hangouts. Now, scattered around the country with totally different lives and schedules, the five of us are in the same room at the same time probably 10 days each decade. The group is in its final 7%.

So what do we do with this information? Setting aside my secret hope that technological advances will let me live to 700, I see three takeaways here:

1. Living in the same place as the people you love matters.

I probably have 10 times the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else.

2. Priorities matter.

Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you — not by unconscious inertia.

3. Quality time matters.

If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.

Visit Wait But Why to read the post this post was based on: "Your Life in Weeks."

<br>

This post was originally published on Wait But Why, and all images are used here with permission. Wait But Why posts regularly, and they send each post out by email to over 425,000 people.

Enter your email here, and they’ll put you on the list (they only send a few emails each month).

If you like this, check out "Life is a Picture, But You Live in a Pixel and Putting Time in Perspective."