Tuesday, January 31, 2017

This letter to Trump about his 'respect for women' comment is really for everyone.

Men need to step up in the fight for gender justice.

<br>

President Donald Trump makes a lot of big claims. It's kind of his thing.

For instance, he once claimed to have "the world's greatest memory" (a claim he later forgot making). Then there was the time he told a black pastor that he was "the least racist person that you have ever met" (which is quite the claim to make even if you didn't open your presidential campaign by labeling Mexicans as "rapists" and "criminals").

But perhaps the most hyperbolically "WTF" phrase he's ever uttered was about women.

GIF from ABC News/YouTube.

Even if you were to set aside his history of misogynistic comments and the accusations of assault and harassment by a bevy of women throughout the years, we're to believe that nobody has more respect for women? Seems unlikely — on a purely statistical level.

That's why gender justice group Promundo is calling on Trump to make good on his farfetched boast and "Be a Model Man."

The group encourages men and boys to partner with women and girls in the fight for gender equality, working to defeat harmful gender norms and disrupt power dynamics that drive gender-based injustices worldwide.

This week, the group posted an open letter to the president on its website.

"During the campaign, you said, 'Nobody has more respect for women than I do,'" reads the letter. "Yet, you have said and done things that many people consider to be disrespectful. As men who believe manhood is not about disrespecting women, we call on you to make amends and to set a new tone."

While directed at Trump, the letter serves as a call to action for men around the country to support the fight for gender equality.

On January 21, just one day after Trump took office, millions participated in what was originally planned as the Women's March on Washington, with sister marches popping up around the world in solidarity.

Standing up to the president, who was recorded on a hot mic saying, "When you’re a star, [women] let you do it. You can do anything. ... Grab ’em by the pussy," and once claimed that one of his sexual assault accusers "would not be [his] first choice," it's important to remember the culture that empowers men to say and do things like that in the first place.

GIF from Bloomberg Politics/YouTube.

The ongoing attacks against reproductive rights and changes to grants under the Violence Against Women Act are much more than "identity politics," as some would like to suggest.

These issues, innately gendered as they are, are core to who we are as a country and who we want to be as a country. Promundo's open letter calls on the president to "champion the rights of all women." Even if he won't, you — and other men — can!

It's simple, dudes, really. Set a good example, be your best self, use your voice and platform to advance causes of justice, and push back on unfair gendered power dynamics. Fighting for women's rights means taking a stand for women of all backgrounds, religions, financial situations, sexual orientations, and abilities. It means standing next to — and not in front of —women, using your privilege to make space for women and amplifying women's voices and experiences whenever possible.

Whatever Trump does or doesn't do, remember that it's up to you to decide whether you want to #BeAModelMan.

<br>

Trump said he hasn't cried since childhood. Here's why that's nothing to brag about.

<br>

President Donald Trump accused Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of fake crying during a press conference opposing the recent refugee and immigration executive order.

"I know him very well," Trump told reporters. "I don't see him as a crier. If he is, he's a different man. There's about a 5% chance it was real, but I think they were fake tears."

Trump's pointed attack ignores the fact that Schumer's great-grandmother and many of her children were killed in the Holocaust, so his reaction to a drastic measure preventing refugees from safe harbor may be an emotional one. Even without that familial context, Schumer's impassioned response to stranded and separated families in his home state seems more than appropriate.

Schumer stands with recently resettled refugees to push for an overturn of Trump's executive order temporarily banning immigration to the United States for refugees and some Muslim travelers at a press conference in New York. Photo by Bryan R. Smith/AFP/Getty Images.

It wasn't the first time Trump has dinged someone for crying.

He has a long history of dismissing or shaming people crying. He's called out Glenn Beck, John Boehner, and Jeb Bush on Twitter  for crying or being "cry babies" and falsely accused ABC News anchor Martha Raddatz of crying on air after the election.  

Boehner wipes a tear as Rep. Nancy Pelosi looks on during a ceremony to award the Congressional Gold Medal posthumously to Constantino Brumidi in 2012. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Despite Trump's aversion to it, there are many benefits to crying backed by science and research.

Physiologically, there are actually three types of tears: emotional, basal, and reflex.

Emotional tears are a reaction to stress or strong feelings, basal tears keep eyes lubricated, and reflex tears are secreted in response to irritants like dust or onion. All three types of tears are made up of enzymes, oils, mucus, and antibodies in saltwater. Each type of tear possess distinct molecules that are distinguishable under a microscope. William Frey, a biochemist, pharmacologist, and expert on the topic of tears, found that emotional tears contain stress hormones that are expelled from the body through crying.

President Bill Clinton tells the congregation of Mason Temple Church of God, "You've brought tears to my eyes" after listening to the previous speakers. Photo by Paul Richards/AFP/Getty Images.

Whether or not crying expels stress-related toxins from the body, the act of crying is a positive release.

"Letting down one's guard and one's defenses and [crying] is a very positive, healthy thing," Stephen Sideroff, a clinical psychologist at UCLA, told WebMD. And empathetic crying — in response to watching a touching movie or reading something sad in the news — has the same effect. "That process of opening into yourself ... it's like a lock and key," Sideroff said.

Tears drip down President George W. Bush's cheek during an East Room ceremony to present a posthumous Medal of Honor. Photo by Brian Aho/U.S. Navy via Getty Images.

Conversely, stifling or holding back tears may temporarily elevate your heart rate or blood pressure as your body's sympathetic nervous system (your fight-or-flight response) works overtime to figure out what's going on.

Not to mention, emotional crying is uniquely human and reveals our empathy for others.

President Barack Obama cried while he spoke to the country following the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wept openly after being reunited with a Syrian refugee he welcomed to the country a year prior. Vice President Joe Biden dabbed his eyes while being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Former Speaker of the House John Boehner was frequently moved to tears during award presentations, speeches, stirring songs, and on election night.

Biden (left) wipes his eyes as Obama presents him with Medal of Freedom. Obama (right) cries as he talks about the victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. Photos by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images and Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

What a gift it is to feel so moved by someone else's story, to feel their joy or misery as if it were your own. What an admirable thing it is to dedicate your life to a goal and see it come to fruition. That kind of empathy and passion shouldn't be seen as a weakness. It should be rewarded and encouraged.

That's the kind of strong, dedicated leadership we need in trying times. Someone who understands who they're working for and why we need each other.

Attorney General Eric Holder wipes his eye while resigning his position during an announcement. Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

But Trump says he hasn't cried since he was a baby.

Not for the birth of his children or on his wedding days. Not the deaths of his parents and brother. Not for the thousands of victims on 9/11, the children of Sandy Hook, or the men and women murdered in Charleston. Nothing. That's not strength. It's emptiness. It's cowardice. It's the kind of emotionless leadership that will prevent us from moving forward as a united country.

So whether or not he's cried, Trump could stand to do it more often.

To look in the face of the people and families his policies affect at home and abroad and find the joy or tragedy in someone else's story. He can take a cue from Schumer and Boehner and others and bring some emotion to his work. Not just to remind all of us he's human, but to remind himself.

Photo by Mandel Ngan AFP/Getty Images.

<br>

This horror movie is directed by and stars all women. It looks scary good.

<br>

Jovanka Vuckovic hates when it happens. But when you're a film director and a woman, it's inevitable: People are going to think you're on set in a different capacity.

"I've been on film sets where the stunt man comes up and says, 'Oh, are you hair and makeup?' Uh, no. 'Are you wardrobe?' No," Vuckovic says. "'Oh, then what are you doing here?' I'm the director. 'You don't look like a director.'"

"Well, what's a director supposed to look like?"

Photo courtesy of Magnet Releasing.

A former horror magazine editor from Toronto, Vuckovic has been a fan of the genre for many years. Working in publishing and later in the male-dominated filmmaking world, it became clear to her how underrepresented women were behind the camera and, thus, how wildly misrepresented they were in front of the camera — particularly when it comes to horror.

"I kept asking people, 'Please, can you just write women characters as actual human beings?'" she explains. "I got tired of asking, so I just decided I'm going to do it myself."

Vuckovic's short film "The Box" is part of a horror anthology, "XX," that's garnering a lot of buzz at the 2017 Sundance Film Festival.

For many moviegoers, it's both a scary film and an important endeavor.

The trailer for "XX" is pretty damn terrifying. But even cooler, the anthology — which features four short films, including Vuckovic's — is completely women-led, with each film directed by and starring women.

Peyton Kennedy in “The Box," Vuckovic's short film in "XX." Photo courtesy of Magnet Releasing.

Vuckovic says women made up roughly 80% of the crew for her short. On most sets, that ratio is basically flipped.

Along with "The Box," "XX" features Roxanne Benjamin's "Don't Fall," Karyn Kusama's "Only Living Son," and Annie Clark's "Birthday Party."

If the trailer (embedded below) is any indication, each short appears as scary as the next. There's no shortage of creepy children, torn-off fingernails, and camping trips gone awry between the four dark tales.

"Birthday Party" marks the directorial debut for Clark, who's better known to most as musical artist St. Vincent. Her involvement helped "XX" premiere at Sundance on Jan. 22, 2017, to a sold-out crowd.

Directors (from left) Roxanne Benjamin, Annie Clark, Jovanka Vuckovic, and animator Sofìa Carrillo at Sundance. Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images.

The thrill-seeking audience at Sundance loved the barrier-pushing concept of the film anthology just as much as it loved the blood, guts, and screams — probably in part because of how different "XX" truly is.

Historically, filmmakers in horror have been overwhelmingly male. And that means women on-screen are often portrayed in trope-y, unrealistic roles.

While the male gaze and gender stereotyping run rampant throughout most genres of film, horror may arguably be the worst offender. From the damsel in distress and evil seductress to the sexually liberated woman who must be killed and the vengeful lover, a handful of tropes have largely carved out the types of dehumanizing roles available to women in horror.

Actor Peter Cushing and producer Anthony Nelson Keys on the set of a Hammer Film Productions horror film in 1965. Photo by Terry Fincher/Express/Getty Images.

"The only thing you have to do to make a movie feminist is depict women as actual human beings," Vuckovic says of changing the status quo. But by that standard, many scary flicks fall embarrassingly short.

It should be noted that the genre isn't exactly known for its racial inclusiveness, either, as many films continue to fail at diverse casting: “We primarily see white-washed versions of the world in a lot of movies," Vuckovic says. "Young people need to grow up seeing versions of themselves on screen."

Sadly, there hasn't been as much progress for women in horror (or in Hollywood, more generally) as you might expect.

In fact, as Vuckovic points out, there were actually more women working as writers, producers, and directors during the silent era of film a century ago than in Hollywood today.

Director Dorothy Arzner and screenwriter Sonya Levien in 1930. Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

Women make up about half of film school graduates at top schools like the University of Southern California and New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, yet they make up just a tiny fraction of actual working directors, MTV News reported. Lack of opportunity outside the academic world plays a big role in that lopsided reality, according to Vuckovic.

Women are "not allowed to fail the same way men are allowed to fail," she says, echoing the same injustice Reese Witherspoon spoke out about in March 2016: Men's movies can flop at the box office and they'll still get a second (or third or fourth) chance at financial redemption. For women, it doesn't work like that.

The good news: Signs are pointing to progress for women in the horror genre. But we all have a part in making that happen.

According to Vuckovic, recent films like "A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" and the critically acclaimed "The Babadook" — a film that explores the difficulties of single motherhood through a horror lens — have helped move the genre forward for women behind (and in front of) the camera.

"The Babadook" director Jennifer Kent (left) and star of the film Essie Davis. Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images.

"I don’t think a lot of the filmmakers making horror now know its worth, or realize the potential of the genre," "The Babadook" director Jennifer Kent told New York Magazine in 2014. "Just because it's a horror film doesn't mean it can't be deep."

It's important we take note of the films that are created by women and make sure to support them at the box office, Vuckovic notes — showing that women-led films can succeed financially is the best way to provide more opportunities for more women down the road.

Through "XX," Vuckovic hopes young girls learn there is a space for them in the horror genre, despite what anyone else says.

"Go, pick up a camera, make some movies, and don't take no for an answer," she advises girls interested in the magic of filmmaking. "You didn't go to film school? Who cares. Get your friends to help you, and just start — start somewhere."

"XX" opens in select theaters and on video on-demand Feb. 17. Watch the trailer below:

<br>

Trump-proof your playlist with 11 resistance-ready protest songs.

<br>

Historically, music has played a vital role in American war and resistance movements.

During the Revolutionary War, "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and other popular dance songs were sung by both the British soldiers and the American rebels to keep spirits afloat in trying times. This continued throughout history, with songs like the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "God Bless America" motivating troops and civilians during the Civil War and World War I.

But war is never straightforward, and when American involvement in Vietnam escalated, patriotic songs like "The Battle of the Green Berets" were soon outnumbered by protest and anti-war music like Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind," Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son," and Martha Reeves and the Vandellas' "I Should Be Proud."

Folk singers Joan Baez and Bob Dylan perform during a civil rights rally in Washington, D.C., in 1963. Photo by Rowland Scherman/National Archive/Newsmakers.

Nearly in tandem, the civil rights movement had protest and resistance music of its own. Generations of artists and performers, inspired by marches, demonstrations, and tragedies during the fight for civil rights, created some of the country's most enduring musical contributions — songs like James Brown's "Say it Loud — I'm Black and I'm Proud" and Gil Scott-Heron's spoken-word piece "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised."

James Brown performs at the Olympia hall in Paris. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

But protest and resistance music didn't end in the 1960s. Now more than ever, we need songs to keep us moving forward.

We need songs that make people want to stand up, speak out, and fight back.

We're facing an unprecedented American political landscape, and there are inexperienced, unpredictable people in charge. It's important to pay attention and speak up against bigotry, ignorance, and policies that affect the most vulnerable.

This is the soundtrack to the resistance. Turn it up. Share it. Let them hear us coming.

Demonstrators protest President Donald Trump's executive order which imposes a freeze on admitting refugees into the United States and a ban on travel from seven Muslim-majority countries at the international terminal at O'Hare Airport in Chicago, Illinois. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

1. Andra Day, "Rise Up"

Warm up with this beautiful, haunting ballad by songstress Andra Day. It may not get your heart racing, but it will get your mind prepared to face a new and uncertain challenge.

Lyric for your protest sign: "All we need, all we need is hope/And for that we have each other"

2. Pharrell Williams, "Runnin'"

If you haven't seen "Hidden Figures," stop what you're doing and go. I'll wait.

OH MY GOODNESS WASN'T IT SO GOOD?! This true story was brought to life on screen with powerhouse performances and a soundtrack of contemporary soul music. This particular song from Pharrell Williams would be at home on black radio in 1963 or 2017, which is a sobering reminder that even though we made it to space, there's still a long way to go.

Lyric for your protest sign: "I don't want no free ride/I'm just sick and tired of runnin'"

3. Isley Brothers, "Fight the Power, Pts. 1 & 2"

A pretty much perfect song about standing up against the powers that be. Ever wonder what you would've done during the civil rights movement? Turn on these songs, go outside, and find out.

Lyric for your protest sign: "When I rolled with the punches/I got knocked on the ground/With all this bullshit going down"

4. K'naan feat. Snow tha Product, Riz MC, and Residente, "Immigrants (We Get the Job Done)"

There are a lot of songs on the "Hamilton" original Broadway cast recording and the subsequent "Hamilton Mixtape" remix and compilation album, but few possess the energy and passion of "Immigrants (We Get the Job Done)."

As President Trump looks to restrict the number of refugees entering America, it's important to remind people of troubling and dangerous circumstances many immigrants and refugees flee in the first place and the difficult journeys they face once they're in America, whether or not they're documented.

Lyric for your protest sign: "It’s America's ghost writers, the credit's only borrowed."

5. Dixie Chicks, "Not Ready to Make Nice"

This song was about the Dixie Chicks' political saga with country radio and outraged fans. (Doesn't that feel downright quaint these days?) It holds up as a pop-country song about refusing to find common ground with ignorance and bigotry. I think of this song every time someone suggests I "give President Trump a chance." Candidate Trump said some awful things about people like the people I love and the people who make this country a great place to live. President Trump seems to be following through on his potentially devastating campaign promises. Forgive and forget? Not when lives and livelihoods are at stake.

Lyric for your protest sign: "I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go 'round and 'round and 'round."

6. Kendrick Lamar,  "Alright"

You could hear this song break out at Black Lives Matter demonstrations and marches across the country. This powerful anthem struck a chord at just the right time, a three-and-a-half minute tonic against fear, anguish, and systemic oppression. As Desire Thompson wrote in Vibe, "While listening to it on repeat, I was reminded of the lesson that pain isn’t permanent and getting through the tough times are what make us all stronger."

Lyric for your protest sign: "We gon' be alright"

7. Solange, "F.U.B.U."

We don't deserve two talented, powerful Knowles sisters. But it's younger sister Solange's new album that's been in heavy rotation during this winter of discontent. It's empowering and ethereal, with lyrics covering so many issues on the minds of black women. "F.U.B.U." is an acronym for "for us by us," and this song is just that. Sorry not sorry white folks, this one isn't for you.

Lyric for your protest sign: "All my niggas let the whole world know/Play this song and sing it on your terms/For us, this shit is for us/Don't try to come for us"

8. Marvin Gaye, "Mercy, Mercy, Me (the Ecology)"

Like "Inner City Blues" and "What's Going On?" "Mercy, Mercy Me" is a grim reminder of how little has changed in the last 45 years. That's not a cue to get despondent. That's a cue to get bold. It's a cue to keep pushing, keep tapping into fresh ideas and new approaches, especially when it comes to the environment. As the saying goes, "There is no Planet B." Let's do this.

Lyric for your protest sign: "What about this overcrowded land/How much more abuse from man can she stand?"

9. The "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" theme

It's a 30-second theme song for a show about a woman starting her life over after 15 years in an underground bunker. What's more resistance-ready than that?

Lyric for your protest sign: "'Cause females are strong as hell!"

10. The Pointer Sisters, "Yes We Can Can"

Long before Obama used it to galvanize millions of believers, Allen Tousissant's song of a similar name galvanized people on the dance floor and in the streets. Performed by the Pointer Sisters, the socially conscious funk song reached #11 on the Billboard Hot 100, but the timeless classic remains relevant nearly 44 years later.

Lyric for your protest sign: "We got to make this land a better land than the world in which we live/And we got to help each man be a better man with the kindness that we give"

11. Elton John, "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting"

I was going to pick "Philadelphia Freedom" for its soaring horns and unintentional bicentennial spirit, but this song felt better for Nazi-punching. Now, I'm not condoning violence, but what you and your fists do to fight fascists is your business.

Lyric for your protest sign: "Saturday night's alright for fighting, get a little action in."

This playlist is just the beginning.

There are countless songs, new and old, that belong on this list. When it comes to music that inspires you to do good and get involved, there are no wrong answers. Pick it out, turn it up, and let's get moving.

Thousands of people gather at City Hall in San Francisco to protest President Trump and to show support for women's rights. Photo by Josh Edelson/AFP/Getty Images.

<br>

When his daughter got sick, he made a vaccine and saved millions of lives in the process.

<br>

On March 21, 1963, Maurice R. Hilleman's daughter woke him up. She had a sore throat.

When he examined her, he realized that she had swelling beneath her jaw.

He knew immediately that this was no ordinary sore throat. She had mumps.

Mumps is a contagious viral disease that typically starts with a fever, headache, aches and pains, fatigue, and a loss of appetite. It is then followed by swollen salivary glands. It used to be the most common cause of acquired hearing loss, and there was no treatment.

All Hilleman could do was tuck his daughter back into bed and hope she would be OK.

‌A 3D representation of a mumps virus particle. Image via Alissa Eckert/Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

It's easy to forget today that those severe childhood diseases like mumps were once a relatively common occurrence.

As recently as half a century ago, kids would often get sick with diseases that caused devastating side effects and, sometimes, even death. In fact, some illnesses such as mumps, measles, and rubella were so prevalent that most parents could easily recognize them — usually because they had either had them themselves or had seen them before.

Measles — the same disease blamed partly for decimating Native American populations after the arrival of European explorers — was so common at the beginning of the 20th century that almost all Americans caught it sometime during their lifetime (though usually as children). In 1912-22, an average of 6,000 people died from it each year in the U.S.

Sometimes these diseases struck in the womb, too.

In the early 1960s, rubella, also known as German measles, was reaching pandemic proportions in pregnant moms. While the disease usually only produced a mild rash and fever in children and adults, if an expectant mother caught the virus — especially in the first trimester — congenital rubella syndrome caused damage to her developing baby more often than not. Not only could this cause miscarriage, but it could also lead to babies being born deaf, blind from cataracts, with heart conditions, or with developmental delays. During the epidemic, 20,000 babies were born with this syndrome.

So when Hilleman's daughter got sick, he decided to take the only action he could. He went to work.

Dr. Maurice R. Hilleman. Image via the National Library of Medicine.

Hilleman had a Ph.D. in microbiology from the University of Chicago, and he had been working at Merck & Co. for about six years, leading the company’s virus and vaccination research programs.

So, after she was in bed, he immediately drove to work, picked up sampling equipment from his lab, and went home to collect a swab from the back of her throat. He then brought the sample back to the lab, where he used it to help develop a vaccine against mumps.

Hilleman and his colleagues used the sample from his daughter to isolate the disease organism and figure out how to keep it alive in the lab. Then they tried to weaken it in a process called attenuation, or passing the virus over and over through a series of cells until it can no longer reproduce inside a human being (or make people sick) but can still make the body's immune system react and produce antibodies and T-lymphocytes (a type of white blood cell).

This result gives the body the defenses (or "memory" antibodies and T-lymphocytes) to protect itself if it ever comes into contact with the actual virus in the future.

‌Illustrations that were used in public service announcements to encourage parents to vaccinate their children against rubella in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Image via the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. ‌

By 1967, Hilleman had developed a working vaccine for mumps — and he named it Jeryl Lynn after his daughter (who recovered fully from the disease)

But his work on vaccines didn’t stop there. In 1968, he improved upon an existing measles vaccine (one that still caused rashes and fevers). In 1969, he worked with federal regulators to develop a vaccine for rubella in order to prevent another epidemic.

Syringes containing the mumps, measles, and rubella vaccine. Photo by Mark Kegans/Getty Images.

He also figured out how to combine the shots for measles, mumps, and rubella (a total of six shots) into just two — an initial shot and a booster — creating the MMR vaccine.

Hilleman developed and improved upon more than 40 vaccines — more than any other scientist in the world.

As a developer of vaccines, his work is unequaled. Today, over 91% of children receive the MMR vaccine before they turn 3, and it is considered one of the most important vaccines to get before you get pregnant (if you haven’t had it already) to prevent your baby from complications or birth abnormalities.

The MMR vaccine helped wipe out rubella from the Americas by 2015.

‌Hilleman at the Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research at West Point in 1963. Image via AP Photo.‌

While many of us might not know his name, Hilleman is a hero in medical science. His work on vaccines saved millions of lives in the continuing battle against contagious disease.

<br>

Her sick baby brother was treated cruelly — here's what the experience taught her.

<br>

When my mom, Sandra Haggberg, was 8 years old, she was told that she was going to have a baby brother.

The news was exciting — she already had two little sisters, so a little brother was bound to be different. She couldn't wait to meet him.

‌My mother, Sandra, with her mother, Virginia, at a farm in Minnesota. Image from the Haggberg family, used with permission. ‌

But when Mark was born on Sept. 17, 1957, the doctors knew right away that something was wrong. His ear was folded over onto itself and his head was out of proportion with the rest of his body.

A specialist was called in to examine him, X-rays were performed, and it was revealed that Mark was born with only one kidney, and it was abnormally small — about the size of peanut. His pituitary gland was also barely functioning and he had congenital hydrocephalus, a condition that causes an accumulation of fluid in the brain.

Mark was immediately transferred to the University of Minnesota hospital for treatment, before the rest of the family could meet him. He stayed there for about six months, until his father, Merlyn — tired of seeing his son in pain — asked if all the blood draws, transfusions, and medical tests were really helping.

They weren't. There was no cure for Mark. So Merlyn took him home.

‌Merlyn holding his son, Mark. The family didn't take many photos of Mark because he was so sick. Image from the Haggberg family, used with permission. ‌

That was the first time Sandra got to meet Mark, and her new little brother didn’t look like what she expected.

Despite being six months old at that point, only his head had really grown and it was misshapen, and he had long, skinny arms and legs. The problems with his pituitary gland stunted his growth. “During his entire life, he never grew beyond the size of a three-month-old baby,” Sandra remembers.

Mark lived almost five years — far longer than anyone had expected. But as he grew older, he never learned to talk, he cried a lot from pain, and he rarely smiled.

“I remember that I could make him laugh though," says Sandra. "I would bound towards him, making barking noises — like a dog — and he would laugh and laugh,” she says. “I was kind of proud of myself that I could do that.

Because Mark was so sick, he didn’t leave home all that often. When he did, people’s treatment of him was … unkind, to put it mildly.

“People in the neighborhood were afraid of him," says Sandra. "He looked different, he cried — they didn’t know how to help. We were treated differently. We were ‘the family with the monster baby,’ and so, we just kept to ourselves. It was too personal and private to talk about or share with others.

‌One of the few photos of Mark.  Image from the Haggberg family, used with permission. ‌

Even family members kept their distance.

“When Mark was getting blood transfusions, we needed donors — Dad couldn’t donate blood as often as Mark needed them,” Sandra says. “Family members would promise to donate, but then fail to show up.”

At school, Sandra’s friends were curious about her brother, so she invited them over. “I had them come to our house. I went inside, picked Mark up, and brought him to the screen door but as soon as they saw him, they all screamed and ran away.” She wasn’t allowed to bring more friends over after that.

“Mom was a very private person. She didn’t want the noise, the mess, and the exposure,” Sandra says. “It was different back then. There was a lot of shame. So we just kept him to ourselves. It was like he was part of the house.”

“He was our secret,” she adds. And it remained that way until Mark’s death on March 6, 1962.

After that, the family didn’t talk much about Mark.

‌Sandra with her two little sisters.  Image from the Haggberg family, used with permission.

Sandra’s mom put his blanket and baby clothes in a cedar chest and kept it until she died of cancer 17 years ago. Merlyn talked about him a few times with Sandra over the years, but not much — and today, he doesn’t remember due to dementia. The three sisters never talked about him much either.

Growing up with Mark, and losing him, had an impact on Sandra for the rest of her life. But what stuck with her the most was not wanting Mark and others like him to feel invisible.

“Secrets can hurt and cause shame,” she says.

I don’t remember the first time that my mom told me about Mark, but I do know that I was in elementary school — so maybe I was 7 or 8. She didn’t keep Mark a secret from me or from my dad. Though we didn’t talk about him often, we were there to listen to her, without judgment, when she wanted to talk about him.

‌My mother holding me after my baptism in 1988. Image from the Scully family, used with permission. ‌

"It [also] taught me the importance of family and friends,” Sandra says.

She remembers how one aunt — her mom’s sister — wasn’t afraid of Mark and she would take care of him for one week every year so that the Haggbergs could take a camping trip as a family. “She wasn’t afraid and that meant a lot to our family,” Sandra says. “It meant that Mom got to sleep in. We got to spend more time with her. We got to laugh and make s’mores by the campfire — we got to be a ‘normal’ family for a little while, without worrying about Mark. It meant so, so much to us.”

“It taught me how, with help, you can survive anything," she adds.

‌My mother and father in December 2015. Photo from the Scully family, used with permission. ‌

Fortunately, we’ve come a long way in how we treat birth defects and disabilities since the 1950s.

Not only have medical advancements enabled us to better understand birth abnormalities and what causes them, but we have also, as a society, begun to change how we treat disability. People with birth defects, and their families, have been in the public eye now more than ever, challenging prejudices and shining a spotlight on the issues that affect them. And as a society, we're learning how to be more empathetic toward the families of a child born with birth defects and disabilities so that they don’t feel ostracized, shamed, or like they have to hide.

There's a long way to go, and we need to continue this positive trend so that every family gets the care, compassion, and support they need.

“I would ask people to be kind, to try to understand just a little bit — not to intrude, not to ask too many questions, and not to offer advice when none is asked for,” Sandra says. “But just to be kind.”

<br>

15 breathtaking images from space, made possible by NASA.

<br>

The infinite beauty of space is visible to us because of NASA.

Ever since the space race began on Oct. 4, 1957, the U.S. has worked tirelessly to stay at the forefront of space exploration. Starting with Eisenhower and the creation of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration in 1958, we've been exploring space and sharing it with the world for almost 60 years.

Recent government decisions to limit communication and budget cuts from both parties have led to the notion that one day soon, we could be without NASA. Which would leave us without a future of pioneering, groundbreaking, and stunning images like the ones below.

1. A view from above.

This image is from the Apollo 11 mission.

Photo by NASA/Newsmakers via Getty Images.

2. A "young" cluster of stars.

They're only 2 million years old.

Photo by NASA/Flickr.

3. A galaxy far, far away ... 55 million light-years away.

Technically this galaxy is called NGC 4013. It's similar in shape to the Milky Way (this is a side view), but the difference is that this Hubble-produced image is a whopping 55 million light-years away. Or 16.8 million parsecs, if you're interested.

Photo by NASA/Newsmakers via Getty Images.

4. The death of a star.

Some of us may be feeling crushed lately. Allow this star to empathize with you. In space, dead stars can still pulse, and in the deep center, you'll see the "heart" of this exploded star.

Ready for space facts? This is called a neutron star. NASA tells us "it has about the same mass as the sun but is squeezed into an ultra-dense sphere that is only a few miles across and 100 billion times stronger than steel."

Photo by NASA/Flickr.

5. Even artist concept images from NASA are mind-blowing.

In 2011, the WISE telescope had to be retired because it was overheating too much. But before it was shut off, it made the discovery of millions of potential black holes. This image is an interpretation of a quasar. I wish it were a scene from "Doctor Who."

Image by NASA/ESAvia Getty Images.

6. Jupiter rising.

Plato summed it up perfectly when he wrote that "Astronomy compels the soul to look upward and leads us from this world to another."

Photo by NASA/Flickr

7. Ever wonder what a gamma ray burst is?

NASA's got you covered.

Photo by NASA/Getty Images

8. From a distance, the world looks...

If you think the zoom on your mobile is impressive, this picture of Saturn was taken by the spacecraft Cassini in 2002 from 177 MILLION MILES AWAY.

Photo by NASA/Getty Images.

9. A giant leap indeed.

Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin, a U.S. flag, and the moon. July 20, 1969.

Photo by NASA/Newsmakers.

10. Venus transit across the sun.

Venus is a massive planet. But the sun is oh my gosh big. Here is what it looks like while going across the sun as photographed by the SDO satellite in June 2012.

Photo by SDO/NASA via Getty Images.

11. Paging Matt Damon.

NASA's Curiosity Mars rover took 33 telephoto images and stitched them together to show us that California's drought is nothing compared to this.

Photo by NASA/JPL-Caltech/MSSS via Getty Images.

12. Best pumpkin ever? or just the sun laughing at us?

Photo by NASA/Flickr.

13. It's the final countdown!

The legendary space shuttle Atlantis lifted off from Kennedy Space Center on July 8, 2011, for the last time in NASA's shuttle program.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

14. This is what an oil change looks like in space.

Photo by NASA via Getty Images.

15. Pure human joy.

This photo shows NASA and JPL celebrating the success of the solar-powered Juno spacecraft successfully joining Jupiter's orbit. This took five years and on July 4, 2016, it started to successfully transmit data back to Earth.

That is what pure human joy looks like.

Photo by RINGO CHIU/AFP/Getty Images.

NASA has brought the limitless beauty of space to our fingertips for almost 60 years. The images here represent just a microscopic sample. The ingenuity, drive, and determination shown is immeasurable. The unbelievable scientific and technological advancements are a true testament to what it means to be at the forefront of space exploration. Here's hoping we can celebrate NASA's 60th next year.

<br>